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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Stay at home mom"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP: I strongly suggest you back off on this SAHM hill vis a vis your relationships with men. If you are lucky enough to find someone with whom you would consider starting a family, you also need to be willing to compromise and consider different options. Maybe you still end up staying at home when the kids are young, but it may require relocating or taking on freelance work. Marriage can be tough and parenting is really no joke--you need to be able to work with your spouse and compromise. With that said, here are some lessons I've learned as a SAHM of now HS and college-aged kids: --There are different kinds of stay at home moms. Some work their asses off, others not so much. I'm not saying you need to "prove your worth as SAHM" to your DH, but at the same time if you are asking him to carry the financial weight, your role needs to make sense for the relationship/family. --You and your DH need to agree on what time of lifestyle you'd like to have and what are your priorities in terms of values when you are raising children. THIS is the conversation to have before you marry because if you aren't aligned here, your chance of success is low. This is a much different conversation than simply insisting on staying home with the kids. --It is stressful for the person solely in charge of making money to support the family even when they value what their spouse is doing to contribute with raising kids, managing the house etc --It can be very stressful for the SAHM knowing that your spouse is carrying all of the financial responsibility and this can lead to guilt and tension in the relationship. --If things go sideways with your marriage, you could potentially be in a precarious position financially. --It can be next to impossible to return to work once you decide the time is right for your family. In my case, the industry had completely changed. Finding jobs in 2026 is not the same as it was in 2006. --Don't compare what your parents did in a different time/location and economy. It's not an apples to apples comparison. [/quote]
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