Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife and I are both from successful families, but they have very different mindsets in terms of legacy, finances, and the like. ...

- He had her take out "loans" from him informally for college and a graduate degree. He was ticked off at me once I informed him the payments on these "loans" would come to an end once our marriage took place.

- He and my MIL invite us on very expensive vacations and then expect us to cover our own cost which can be in the tens of thousands of dollars for some of the trips he likes. They complain if we do not go. ..The older generation in my family always covers vacation expenses.

- Similar situation with restaurants. He will propose an expensive restaurant, order expensive items, and then want to split the check 50/50.  ...

[/quote]

Inlaws and parents have financial resources.  Inlaws strings and control: book expensive restaurants and vacations and expect your family to attend and pay.   Your parents, no strings and control, invite and pay and/or have dialogue on which restaurant/vacation and fund it. 
[b]
Funding weddings,[/b] or any component of the whole, can be a situation of strings and control.  What happened with the wedding?   We are no strings funders and 1 DC wedding had a declination on some help from the other side due to major strings. [/quote]

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