Reply to We chose not to redshirt DS without considering the long-term consequences:

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like your son is very successful.  He has a master's, a job, and makes very good money.  I dream of that for my child.

Honestly, I think his shame may have something to do with you.  It sounds like you have very high expectations, and when math and music did not come easy, you blame it on his age.  Maybe he is an average kid. Nothing wrong with that, but start celebrating his accomplishments or he is always going to feel less than.[/quote]

OP 100% caused this by repeatedly telling her son that he should have been redshirted and blaming any struggles he had in school on the fact that he wasn't redshirted. Most kids don't even know what redshirting is. Most summer birthdays are not redshirted, and while it's more common with September birthdays if the district has a 10/1 cut off, it's certainly not universal. The PPs noting that lots of kids graduate high school at 17 is right -- it's very common.

Had OP instead taught her son to simply accept that someone has to be the youngest, and pointed out that he was actually doing great despite this [extremely minor] disadvantage, he might have grown up feeling proud of himself for his accomplishments instead of constantly asking "what if" regarding his age. We're talking about a matter of months here! It's ridiculous. So many kids deal with far more adversity than this and come through it well. And this kid also came through it well, yet feels aggrieved. And that's on his parents for letting him believe this is a valid grievance when it's just... not.[/quote]

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