Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]...I’ve dated guys who’ve had even more money than he does, so money isn’t why I’m attracted to him, I just like who he is...[/quote]
You're 27 and have dated this guy for 1.5 years, so you started around age 25. But prior to 25, you dated guyS who've had even more money than 26M?

So you were 21 or 23 (obviously busy in college) dating random wealthy guys, who somehow shared their investment portfolio with you, and you saw they had 50M or 100M?

This is BS! And so is your insisting that it isn't the money you're attracted to, you just like "who he is". Except "who he is", is a divorced dad of 2 teens - who you don't want to step-parent. So of the two major descriptors of his life - parent and wealthy - neither of those appeal to you. He's just a down-to-earth nice guy who appreciates poetry.

I think this whole discussion topic is made up BS!

"His kids (17/g & 14/b) like me (though some might think I’m closer in maturity to them, I’m more aligned with him in terms of maturity and life perspective)."

If this whole thing isn't BS, I want you to write this down and tuck it in your sock drawer and read it in 10 or 15 years. Whether you're married to him or not, you will have a good laugh and eyeroll at how immature you were back at age 27. And that you thought your "life perspective" matched that of a 46yo divorced dad.

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If that stuff is true, then the OP is an unabashed gold digger. [b]A little advice, OP, a younger man on the cusp of a successful career is much more valuable to you than an older man who’s already made most of his money and has kids and retirement looming on the horizon and is a lawyer who has surely tied his money up and trust that you won’t ever be able to access.  Go for the ambitious 30-35-year-old. [/b]

Also, his oldest kid is only 10 years younger than you, but he is 19 years older than you?  That’s gotta feel super weird if it’s true.  Most people most women find that stepdaughters are very difficult to get along with. I’m surprised by the things you’re saying is it doesn’t line up with what I’ve heard from friends.[/quote]

Be careful of the bolded, OP. Both of these aspirations are bad. If you marry someone expecting them to blow up or praying for them to blow up, you are setting yourself up for huge disappointment. Marry a 30-35 year old who is happy with where he is even if he has ambition to make more money. If you want a rich 30-35 year old man, now is the time to try to find one. Yes, riches will be limited for that age group but you stand a smaller chance of taking care of them in old age so it's an ok price to pay. And there are some fairly rich men in that age group.

Think about it this way. If your current bf is 46 with 26M, a 35 year old with 13M is in the same wealth class after compound interest over 11 years before he is 46. And your current bf already has kids so a 35 year old with 6M and no kids is in the same class since your bfs money already has obligations. Add in the caregiver issue with a much older man, and a 35 year old with no kids and 3-4 M is as rich as your current bf.

I know a few couples where the DHs had promising futures that never came through. Talk about disappointment and misery in those marriages.

Don't be shy about what you want. Just be smart about it and make sure you don't get taken advantage of.

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Some great gold digging tips above for you OP to learn ! [/quote]

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