Reply to Extreme resentment over mental load

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don't have a partner in your husband and it is breaking you, divorce. Seriously. [/quote]

It's a really good vibe check.[b] Are you willing to do this alone? [/b]If so, ditch the not-partner and do it alone. Otherwise, figure out what's so upsetting about it and shift your attitude. Maybe you need to cut back, or maybe you're tired and overreacting. Or maybe you need to ask for help you haven't articulated needing, instead of assuming your partner knows. Do what you can to adjust your circumstances, then adjust your perception and attitude about them.[/quote]

Surely you recognize that getting a divorce isn't as simple as deciding you are willing to do everything alone or you're not. Trying to manage your own feelings while simultaneously determining what's in the best interests of your children is where it is tough.  [/quote]

It's not that tough, though. People on this thread are making not wrapping presents and skipping decorating a Christmas tree some kind of childhood-ending calamity. "Will my kid survive without this?" usually has a simple answer. If no, you must do the thing. If your kid can live without it, you can question why it's important to you, why it feels meaningful, where those values and beliefs come from, and what you might be able to change. If it feels burdensome to you, you can probably stop.

If you're complaining about the must-do stuff, well, you'd have to do it with or without your spouse, so you might as well just get it done. If you're complaining about nonessential activities, you need to take responsibility for your decisionmaking because you're choosing those things, possibly at the expense of your sanity.

It's really not that deep.[/quote]

I think I recognize you from the red dress thread. We get it, you create your own standards and then can't understand why everyone else doesn't live by them. [/quote]

I have no idea what you're talking about, but thanks for letting me know 3 smallish paragraphs was too much for you to process and directly respond to. No wonder this subject is so hard for you.

Nice use of the royal we, too.  :roll: [/quote]

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