Reply to Tween guest wasted all the food we bought him. Would you be offended by his mom's pretentious remark?

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Reply to "Tween guest wasted all the food we bought him. Would you be offended by his mom's pretentious remark?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This entire scenario is bizarre on all levels. I’m still unclear whether this is a financial issue or just some issue of perceived “rudeness”. I have 3 kids, often have their friends along (or they go along with friends) and by age 11, the scenario is pretty much:

-host buys meals, but nearly everyone sends their kid with $$ (or offers money directly to the parent sometimes) which is pretty much always declined 
-if there are special issues, certainly everyone would accommodate but the expectation at age 11 is the kid will speak up for himself (I’m not allowed to have soda, I’m allergic to strawberries or whatever). Often the kids will decide what they would like among themselves & my own kid will tell me what was decided (at least in the case of fast food or road trip food, because most parents don’t really eat it anyway) 
-no one has time to sit & analyze what someone else’s kid is eating, much less make some issue of it with kid’s parent. They are 11, not toddlers. 
-no need to be giving the other parent some sort of rundown unless there was a major behavioral concern- if that. They are 11, not toddlers.

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I don't disagree with you, but the 11 year old's behavior sounds so weird to me that I wouldn't be offering another ride to the kid.  Either he has extreme pickiness/autism/whatever and is functioning on the level of a 6 year old, or he was deliberately being a little turd and wasting money as a power trip.  I can't imagine an 11 year old being both incapable of dealing with pretty standard road trip food options and being incapable of declining undesired food when asked.  I'm shocked that anyone thinks the kid was polite for "trying something new" by taking a bite, and then throwing it away two different times.  That's an expectation for taking your own toddlers/preschoolers out to eat.  It's not at all reasonable for an 11 year old when they would have to understand that they're wasting someone else's money each time.

Unlike OP, I would have quietly declined to drive the kid anywhere or try to provide food for him in any capacity in the future.  But I kind of do view this as a behavioral concern.  Either the kid is way too immature for the mom to be utilizing a carpool with some unsuspecting parent, or he was choosing to be a jerk, or he's getting seriously sick.  The mom kind of does need to know that.[/quote]

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