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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's common except the stuggle part.

The gray divorces I know (at least the women) are all financially secure and more than happy being single.

I think they ones that would face financial and emotion struggle are just white knuckling it and staying. [/quote]

I know a few long term SAHMs who chose gray divorce, once their husbands were at retirement. They stayed during the working years, and then become financially sound by taking (rightfully) half of the retirement and savings and having their own life/retirement with more choices. [/quote]

I'll never understand this tradeoff. Life is so short, I just don't understand being miserable for years and then once you are well into your late 50s suddenly you have all this grandiose plans with all this money. Travel, romance, fun sex etc all of that is more enjoyable when you are younger [/quote]

Kids. That's it. Some parents choose delayed gratification to raise their kids under one roof and tuck them in every night.  But once their off and we feel we've done the lion's share of our job as parents, it's our turn to focus on our happiness again with whatever time we have left.  [/quote]

This is me as well.  I have basically hated my wife for 15 years, but sacrificed my happiness for my kids stability.   I never cheated and I do regret marrying her, but my commitment is more important than my happiness.  2 more years….[/quote]

You mean you’re staying for the free high quality child care, cooking, home mgmt, scheduling, health monitoring, cleaning and logistics mgmt your unpaid wife is doing, while also working a full time job or not.

Oh and you also get an ego and image boost because you appear like a functional Family Guy. Not only working all the time but likeable enough to still be married and see your kids anytime when convenient.

So instead of fixing the underlying issues in your marriage and household, you tag along like the selfish leech that you are, doing your own thing but continuing the facade of a married father.[/quote]

Amazing how off base you can be.   This is not something I tell the people in my life.   She is the one with the image boost from not having the world know that she would leave the kids home to go cheat during the day.   I love my kids more than I value my happiness.   Since those times she has become a great mom, but she is a horrible spouse.

You sound like you could benefit from meeting a man in real life as an individual.   I am far from perfect, but I do apologize when I am wrong and attempt to make decisions that will not only benefit me.  I also don’t run from responsibility.   Living with the pain of this marriage is much harder than I ever imagined, because I see the loss of us and the woman I loved every day.[/quote]

I was in a similar situation and feel this guy's pain.  Now I'm divorced and happier.  My kids figured out the score and thanked me for staying until the youngest was out of the house.[/quote]

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