Reply to My Parents Are Useless: In-laws Are Great :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, you’re a bad person. I’m excited for my parents to travel and have fun. It’s sad that you can’t say the same. You’re setting a truly awful precedent for your own kids. You are entitled, unpleasant and combative. Your doubling down in this thread and willful obtuseness has demonstrated that over and over. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if your parents just want to limit time in your presence.[/quote]

Yes I’m a bad person for wanting my parents to be involved in the grandkids lives and not spend a few hours with 2-3x  a year. If this is what American society has come to, I am seriously worried about the future of humanity. [/quote]

Op, go back and read what you first wrote. Your problem is that your definition of “involved” is free childcare and financial support. [/quote]

I truly do not understand American families with money and time and this ultra leisure/ultra capitalist lifestyle being impacted by a few hours visit with family over the year. Really how much childcare and financial support is happening over a twice to four-year visit involvement?

What is happening to adult grandparents that they feel so threatened by being involved with family after their child becomes an adult? Is social media taking over their lives the same way it is teenagers? They can't miss a photo op to compete with others in their circle? Is that what drives them these days as well?

So strange that grandparents would think they would have no financial or caretaking involvement AT ALL after their grandchildren were born to the point where they are threatened by holding a baby for an hour. I can understand why people don't really have kids anymore. There is such conflicting messaging between parents and the workplace saying they want grandchildren and actually showing that they want grandchildren.
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If the caretaking and financial support are so important why weren't they discussed before having the baby? Set the expectations early. Say that you want X dollars and Y hours of unpaid childcare. Just lay it all out so everyone is on the same page with this transaction before it's too late.[/quote]

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