Reply to Lazy, careless DH stories

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]NP. I completely agree with your first statement. I try very hard to own my role in any conflict with others.

I don't understand your second sentence as it relates to this issue - what was OP's role here other than being annoyed that her husband didn't put the watermelon away properly? He said he would get food for the girls' lunch, OP suggested watermelon, and he agreed it was a good idea, so this wasn't a case of OP insisting that he buy watermelon even though he didn't want to/didn't think it made sense for whatever reason. Then he leaves it in a careless manner in the fridge when he won't be home. What does OP need to acknowledge is her role in this conflict?[/quote]

This poster wrote a fantastic response:  [quote]Her role is failure to express her annoyance with her partner, discuss, and resolve to avoid future conflict. Instead, OP asked people to tell negative stories about their husbands.

This applies both ways. If her response annoyed her husband, his role would be to express his annoyance with his partner, discuss, and resolve to avoid future conflict. Her husband would be wrong to respond by asking people to tell disparaging stories about their wives.
[/quote]

My response ([quote]However, when one party cannot accept that they may have contributed to the conflict, you know that they are a significant source of the problem.[/quote]) addresses all the posts made up to the time I posted. Is the conflict that the OP's DH once did a poor job taking care of a food item, or is that the OP's DH is lazy and careless in general? The title of the thread is "Lazy, careless DH stories", and the role in this conflict the OP needs to express is how disrepectful her post is (e.g., He did X (once). Therefore, he is lazy and careless and I want to others to talk about how lazy and careless husbands are as well.)

For all the posters who want to hear more stories from women bashing husbands, do you bash your DH (like this) in front of your children? If so, you give your sons and daughters the idea that their dads are lazy and careless.

Would you like it if your DH bashed you to them about your shortcomings? You need to answer this question in any reply.
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DP+1

Calling someone “lazy” is never a kind thing. It’s a decidedly bad attribute.

If you feel it appropriate to characterize your spouse as “lazy”, it’s time to have an adult conversation to make changes and avoid that word. [/quote]

Many behaviors are lazy and it is accurate to describe those behaviors as such. What you are saying is women should not describe those behaviors accurately because it's "not nice". However, what is not nice is inconsiderate, lazy behavior. Of course, marriage is something that needs to be constantly worked on, and the other partner can and should try to communicate about lazy or careless behaviors that impact them, but that is beside the point of this thread which is to vent about careless,.lazy behaviors that characterize many men today because of how they have been socialized (thanks, MIL!)[/quote]

[b]Communication eliminates inconsiderate behavior[/b]; venting perpetuates it.

I would be concerned about my self esteem if my spouse was inconsiderate towards me and I felt unable to communicate the matter to resolution.

I would never want my daughter marrying someone who disrespected her where venting was her outlet. I would want her and her husband to be capable of not being inconsiderate towards me one and other .
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Hmmm, except that OP DID communicate to her husband that she did not want him leaving the watermelon in the fridge in that state and HE DID NOT CARE. So who's the inconsiderate one here?[/quote]

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