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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]NP. I completely agree with your first statement. I try very hard to own my role in any conflict with others.

I don't understand your second sentence as it relates to this issue - what was OP's role here other than being annoyed that her husband didn't put the watermelon away properly? He said he would get food for the girls' lunch, OP suggested watermelon, and he agreed it was a good idea, so this wasn't a case of OP insisting that he buy watermelon even though he didn't want to/didn't think it made sense for whatever reason. Then he leaves it in a careless manner in the fridge when he won't be home. What does OP need to acknowledge is her role in this conflict?[/quote]

This poster wrote a fantastic response:  [quote]Her role is failure to express her annoyance with her partner, discuss, and resolve to avoid future conflict. Instead, OP asked people to tell negative stories about their husbands.

This applies both ways. If her response annoyed her husband, his role would be to express his annoyance with his partner, discuss, and resolve to avoid future conflict. Her husband would be wrong to respond by asking people to tell disparaging stories about their wives.
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My response ([quote]However, when one party cannot accept that they may have contributed to the conflict, you know that they are a significant source of the problem.[/quote]) addresses all the posts made up to the time I posted. Is the conflict that the OP's DH once did a poor job taking care of a food item, or is that the OP's DH is lazy and careless in general? The title of the thread is "Lazy, careless DH stories", and the role in this conflict the OP needs to express is how disrepectful her post is (e.g., He did X (once). Therefore, he is lazy and careless and I want to others to talk about how lazy and careless husbands are as well.)

For all the posters who want to hear more stories from women bashing husbands, do you bash your DH (like this) in front of your children? If so, you give your sons and daughters the idea that their dads are lazy and careless.

Would you like it if your DH bashed you to them about your shortcomings? You need to answer this question in any reply.
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Ok but what if DH is lazy or careless? Should we not point it out so his feelings aren’t hurt? Should we not say anything in front of our kids even when it affects them? At some point they are going to realize that they are wearing dirty socks for a week on vacation or pulling dirty clothes out of a drawer or have a giant watermelon wobble out of the fridge onto their feet, and then what?[/quote]

You should point about the behavior. Calling someone lazy makes them defensive and doesn’t solve the problem. Talking to your children can be damaging. They want clean clothes, not characterizations of their parents.  Posting anecdotes on a message does not help your relationship at all.

I’m sorry that you have children but cannot see those basic issues. [/quote]

I think it would make children feel better and feel validated. If they’re constantly encountering things done in a lazy way, at some point they will internalize that they are not worth their fathers’ energy. It’s better to characterize their father as lazy than have kids label themselves as worthless. [/quote]

Is it even an option to talk to your spouse and work toward being two mutually considerate, co-equal parents to your children? Is your spouse incapable of mutual consideration?

How sad if this is the case. How terrible for these children.

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I think the point of these anecdotes is to vent about spouses that are incapable of mutual consideration and that it is sad and terrible, but people are trying to find some company and humor in it.[/quote]

Don't you see? Your husband works hard! You should not be seeking validation for your annoyances with his behavior. You should be trying to understand how you are the underlying cause of them. I mean, I know many of you work outside the home and bring in as much or more income than your husbands, but that is because you are selfish shrews that hate your children.

s/[/quote]

You seem very invested in the correctness of insulting your husband on message board. You are also a big fan of hyperbole or misunderstanding differing posts. [/quote]

You seem weirdly invested in convincing women not to vent to each other about their husbands. Literally women venting to each other about their drunken husbands is what spurred the women's rights movement which is why you have a right to own property, vote, and get divorced from an abusive husband. Women won't stop doing this so keep on screeching into the wind.[/quote]

Again, I’m not preventing you from venting. But I’ll comment on it just like any other topic around here.

Ps - you sound like a dope comparing this suffrage and other productive movements. I don’t think anonymously trashing your husband on a message board is the foundation of any social movement. [/quote]

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