Reply to I'm Jewish. Ask me anything.

Forum Index » Religion

Reply to "I'm Jewish. Ask me anything. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]New poster here with a genuine question for OP (and other Jews).  My DH and his family are Jewish.

Can anyone explain to me why ANY invitation or request from my husband's family (MIL, SIL, Grandparents, cousins, etc.) is expected to be met with a YES? NO's are simply unacceptable.

My inlaws get bent out of shape anytime they want us to visit them (in NY) and we can't make it. They invite themselves for long stays at our house and get offended when we limit their stay to 5 days or so. Same with SIL - its like if she invites us for brunch we MUST come or we are rude! Where does this mentality come from?

Also, the notion that EVERY wedding, bris, bar/bat mitzvah and funeral MUST be attended, no matter the cost/inconvenience/distance, OR how little you know the relative in question.

What gives?[/quote]

My DH is Jewish as well, and his family is like this.  They place a very high value on family.  Maybe it is cultural.  Every bris, every bar/bat mitzvah, funeral etc. is a command performance.

OTOH, when our kids were baptized and confirmed, the ILs refused to hear about it much less attend.[/quote]

My DH is Jewish too and this describes his family to a T. It might be anecdotal, but even most Jews I know joke about this facet of their family dynamic.  We have had endless fights over his parents' demands that we drive to New York to celebrate minor family get togethers.  When we first got married, his parents tried to use guilt on us every time, but to their credit they finally realized that guilt is counterproductive when dealing with someone who wasn't raised in a culture of guilt. It actually made me dig my heels in and be less willing to show up to things. We have come to a much more pleasant detente after fifteen years.  I try harder to understand why they want to celebrate every event as a group, and they have learned to respect that I am much more independent.  We show up on our terms now, but keep in mind that they genuinely want us there and try to make an effort even when we would rather stay home.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics