Reply to Are working spouses resentful of stay at home spouses who live leisurely lives?

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Reply to "Are working spouses resentful of stay at home spouses who live leisurely lives?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I stayed at home after my second was born very prematurely.  My husband and I both had demanding jobs and it just was too much for the family.

We made that decision jointly and I always thought I’d return to work in a few years.

In the meantime, my husband’s career really intensified. Meaning, more pressure, more travel and a lot more money.

I never returned to work. I had part time help when the kids were really little. That ended when they were in school. I did have and continue to have cleaning help.

When they were school aged (both in college now) days went a lot like this until they were driving.

630:  get kids up, breakfast and 90 minute commute to two different schools and back home

930 work out or walk

11 shower get ready for day

12 -230  things like work on bills, schedules, volunteer work (I was very active in both schools), occasionally see a friend, laundry, prep dinner, grocery shopping

230 begin pick ups and driving to after school things for one child a lot of sports as club play 
Stay to watch practice or game or similar

6 home make dinner

7 dinner

7-9 homework/family time

10 bed

I was fortunate to be able to do this but it really wasn’t leisurely.  My taking care of everything for the kids and the house allowed my husband to have the career he had.

I do not think he was resentful at all. He often would suggest I get more help, but that wasn’t my style.

Currently, the kids are gone and I do find I have a lot of time on my hands.  I’ve returned to school for a second career and I’m enjoying traveling with my husband for his work and for fun, seeing old friends, and spending time on my health and wellness.

Sometimes lately I feel like he continues to work so hard, and I don’t, but he has never once made me think he is resentful of that.  I make beautiful dinners, arrange interesting weekend activities, stay in shape and healthy, can accompany him on work trips, and take care of all household, aging parent, and existing kid needs.

He appreciates all of that.

It works for us. [/quote]

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