Reply to Are working spouses resentful of stay at home spouses who live leisurely lives?

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Reply to "Are working spouses resentful of stay at home spouses who live leisurely lives?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually think it is friends who post on DCUM who are jealous of their friends who are SAH parents.
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+1
The kind of man who chooses a SAH woman first of all knows and appreciates that the Parenting part of the SAH life is not leisurely.
But also recognizes that the parts that are “leisurely” are things that make her happy and usually are things he is happy to be able to provide for her because it makes her a happy woman.
And whether you believe it or not, most men want peace and happiness of a conflict-free existence at home. Happy women are also happy to lift up and care for their partner. And there’s simply no reason for a man to feel resentful of his wife indulging in “leisurely” activities that contribute to her happiness if she is also caring for him and his home and kids and his needs at the same time. In fact, he is really glad to have a happy wife who is not caught up in the myth that advancing through the paces of a demanding career that takes her focus from their family is the only meaningful way to contribute in society. “Happy wife, happy life” is a mantra that he embraces—and not with resentment.

If a spouse is resentful of the arrangement, it’s not a good fit for them.

So no—[b]I don’t think husbands whose wives have a stay-at-home life are resentful. [/b]I think it’s only DCUM working moms who occupy that space.
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I was resentful.  Because I knew it was a one-way street.  There’s no way in hell my DW would be willing to flip the script, and adopt a happy DH-happy life approach.  And it’s annoying when someone expects to be treated in a way that they won’t treat you.  [/quote]

The reality is that men and women are different.[/quote]

Men are expected to be the provider. I can’t imagine being with a man who did not want to provide for his family. [/quote]

I can't imagine my husband being married to a woman who expects him to be the sole provider. So very outdated.[/quote]

I had a career, ivy educated and was a working mom. We decided together that it would be best for me to stay home with our kids. You are right. I don’t think he would have married someone who didn’t work or didn’t have a career. Our perspectives changed when we had kids and we both thought it would be better if I stayed home for multiple reasons.
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Same here.  Life and parenthood changes things.  [/quote]

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