Reply to The insanity of 1%er East Coast parents and college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on. [/quote]

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers. [/quote]

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.[/quote]

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements. [/quote]

The only “achievement” you mentioned is wealth.  [/quote]
DP. But what did you achieve? Do share![/quote]

Not the PP but I was from a broken single-parent home and went to an elite college on full pell grants and lots of aid. Like a couple other PPs I worked hard to make a better future. I had 99th %ile SAT scores and was Salutatorian, no FGLI boost back then. I have plenty of money, alas based on google I am not the vaunted "1%" income this thread refers to. I am however very wealthy and am full pay for my kids. The $ is not why I am proud. I am proud of what I achieved because I am a doctor and the head of my division. My spouse who was also poor is now a lawyer at a top firm. They worked hard as well to get where they have gotten, but our elite school was a huge part of our success. The support and structured advice we got there was immeasurable. Once we knew our children had the academic capacity and raw intelligence mixed with drive to have a good shot at a T20, of course we moved them to the top private school and encouraged  them. Of course they did not need tutors or any fake EC/nonprofit-starting or anything like DCUM people do. Rather we encouraged them to be their own best, put energy into ECs they enjoyed, and be resilient. We did not want elites for $, rather for the same benefits we got: super smart peers, faculty who care and encourage all students, and every door open to them with more resources than imaginable. My kids are at T10/ivies and will likely go into medicine and a phD, which are not top-1% lucrative, and we could not care less. They can teach high school if they want, we do not care! The point is to get the best education and a leg up to get into any career, and the elites provide that. From my point of view elites are about exposure to to brilliance and endless possibilities. Luckily these schools are more socioeconomically diverse and more welcoming places to poor kids these days. Financial aid kids from public schools were a minority back in '91 and '93.  There was never desperation on our part, just encouragement to try for the best. We considered anywhere in the T30ish to be a huge win, it was not top10 or bust[/quote]

the elite colleges are not economically diverse. [/quote]

They are now 'rich and poor'--which is diverse but misses the middle.  Ivies/Hopkins--HHI under $150-200k are free. Donut holes ($175k-300kHHI) can't stomach $90k/year (unless education was a huge priority and many, many lifestyle sacrifices). Rest are rich families--or rich grandparents paying for it.[/quote]

The elite colleges are much more economically diverse than they used to be and the elite colleges are the most economically diverse of all colleges out there. They have super poor all the way up to top 0.1% and they give the most aid to the UMC-not-poor 150k-250k folks.
270k HHI and we get some financial aid from the ivy our kid attends. DC got into 3 T15/ivy schools and the highest ranked one gave the best aid. Below T15 gave none. We are not at all poor. Yet we get aid. People with 200k or less go for FREE. The group between 200 and about 280k get some need base aid depending on assets. There is no world in which making in the 200s is POOR. Come off it and get perspective from real poor people, or those of us who grew up poor, ie well below median household income. [/quote]

It’s not about being rich or poor. It’s about college affordability.

Even at $300k income Princeton (most generous Ivy) cost with aid comes to
$50k per year. That’s $200k+ for an undergrad degree for ONE child. That’s still too much if you’re in HCOL area family of 5 earning $300k (and didn’t start at $300k 10+ years ago). It used to be a student could work their way through college. That is no longer true. It’s out of control and fueled by parents who are willing to pay literally anything to have a prestigious bumper sticker on their Volvo.

And let’s not forget about easy govt loans … the Parent Plus loan crisis is coming…

[/quote]

So those of us who make around 300k, and get little to no aid, and somehow live in the HCOL DMV area and yet still have managed to afford full pay for 3 kids are what? Magic? Nah you are just bitter because you did not have a savings plan or you could not cut the vacations and fancy cars/fancy club fees. Full pay or close to full pay is a lot, but that is what the market demands, the top schools give more aid than anyone else, and just because we qualify for almost none does not make me bitter. I planned long ago that we would find a way to send them to any elite they got accepted to. It was clear then how much this would be: we started cutting and saving when we made 110k together and the mortgage was half our take home pay. 
By the way my ivy kid does work a lot(their choice), to the tune of $6000 a semester for paid research and TAship, and most of their ivy peers have paid summer internships of 8k-10k. We let them spend or save it how they want, but many of their peers use it to help their parents w tuition. There are a lot of thrifty kids at the school. My older one went for cheaper (instate virginia) yet there were absolutely no paid resume-building jobs on campus. They worked for free in a lab. That one cost less for undergrad so we are helping them with law school. We had a plan and have extra cash from what they did not spend. The 3rd is likely going to an ivy-tier 90k like the other one. [/quote]

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