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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]There’s a lot of noise in this thread, but the bottom line is, try not to raise kids who would uninvite someone at the last minute and then go trick-or-treating at that kid’s house. Just try not to raise little a**holes.

+1
[/quote]

Absolutely, but I think OP's question is what she and her son can do in light of the fact that this happened.  I don't have any great advice, it is a difficult situation, and I think move on and try to focus on other friends is the best answer.[/quote]

+1 I think also validating (calmly, not making it worse) that this is rude behavior. Comments on this thread are  weird. It’s not social engineering to ask your kids what their plans are and remind them that it is rude to cancel because you get a better offer - either include everyone or stick to the original plan. You should know what your middle schooler is up to.

However, it also is true that in our school (Arlington) I have seen that parents are lonely so basically create their social life around kids (travel team, sports teams, etc) and there is a lot of value placed on “block parties” etc that have a specific guest list rather than just distributing fliers to the entire neighborhood. It’s all very cliquey and although I’m hoping it fades (my ildest is MS), I’m not sure it will. A lot of kids don’t have great manners (I have a boy and a lot of his class are little sh*ts) and I think because the families engineer socially, they don’t gain the same social skills we did as kids because the natural consequence of being left out for bad behavior is avoided when mom is planning a block party.

We are trying to teach our kids that people show you who they are and to consider whether they are true friends or not. It is hard, and especially the last few years of elementary up to middle have been hard, but I’m hoping they find their way as they head to high school. 
[/quote]

Omg..you just reminded me of when my kid was in pre-k and one neighbor invited specific neighbors for her kid's block birthday party with other friends and there were so many little kids just opposite my house and my kid kept asking if they could go there. We couldn't even let my kid go out of the house because those kids were running around into everyone's houses (who were invited) and I was afraid my kid would join them. We could see everything from our kitchen and obviously I couldn't skip cooking because they were having a "block" party. [/quote]

Yeah we have a house like that on our street too. It’s annoying. And the mom of the couple is a teacher at the elementary school my kids attend. FORTUNATELY, they had only one kid who is now a teen and seems to have his own friends so the “block parties” are smaller and just some adults now. But yeah, that was real awkward during Covid when they’d be outside with their fire pit and half the neighborhood families around and my older kid was asking why we weren’t at Mrs. Smith’s from school’s party. [/quote]

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