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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.[/quote]

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents. [/quote]

I disagree. You can invite all kids, and your kid can invite their friends too.  When adults also come to the party, all kids behave well and become inclusive.  As a result, inclusive behavior becomes the norm after a few such events.  The kids also find new friends once they get to interact with everyone.

But, you guys do you.  [/quote]

Sorry but at the middle and high school ages, inviting the parents is just unnecessary helicoptering. My teens would be mortified. Not to mention people have more than one kid, and can’t be expected to attend multiple parties, hand out candy and trick or treat all at once.[/quote]

No, it is not helicoptering. Your teens seem to have a problem if they will be mortified.

You invite every one and their kids, which means that siblings will also attend.   AND the party happens before ToT starts.  They all start their ToT from your house where you give candy to every kid.  Teens can go on their own, and other kids can walk with their parents and each other.  Where is the problem?

You all have paralysis by analysis.  You assume that your kids will be mortified, that other parents will have gazillion parties to go to, that siblings will be an issue, that handing candy will be an issue.

The truth is that you are from a culture where there is no concept of hospitality and inclusiveness. You have no idea how to parent, how to host, how to be a guest and how to include everyone.  So you spin your wheels. 
 [/quote]

Your insult to my “culture” is disgusting. [/quote]

NP. No, she sees you accurately. Moms who are pissy about this are exclusive not inclusive, weak-willed and passive-aggressive instead of honest, and generally UMC and somewhat classist. You don’t extend yourselves, you don’t ‘remember’ meeting other parents, you don’t give other families and kids, especially if they’re poorer than you, any grace or benefit of the doubt. You think you offer your DC independence when you shift explicitly to hands-off mode in around 2nd, 3rd grade, and your mothering is largely just gossiping with like-minded twaughts and feeling beleaguered and busy busy busy all the time. You judge mothers like PP who step out and invite people and risk seeming uncool to the basic harem members like your. It’s completely accurate. [/quote]

This is the most insane screed I’ve read on dcum. First of all, referencing second grade on a board for teens and tweens.

Second for suggesting I’m “weak willed and passive” because I am not hosting a 50 person party on Halloween. I don’t care what PP does. If she wants to open her doors to her entire neighborhood, she can feel free and of course I wouldn’t judge her.

The person judging is OP - judging my teens, my “culture” (as if she even knows what that is!!), you for judging my personality.

Just no - no one is obligated to host Halloween at all, much less obligated to invite all their tween and teens’ friends’ parents.  Get a life and your own friends instead of trying to live through your kids.[/quote]

I think we and some elementary level teachers get to judge your reading comp, bunny. Because OP didn’t judge you. You’re here because you flinched when several other posters noted that women like you raise a-holes, and you can’t let go of it. [/quote]

Again, learn to read. This sub thread is not a response to OP but the poster who insisted on the need to invite tween and teen friends’ parents on Halloween. Do keep up, you seem quite lost.[/quote]

Sweetie. The reference was to your kind of mothering, where by the time your kid is in early ES, you give up on teaching anything relating to character because it requires skills you lack, and then you lurk on boards to ‘defend’ kids being inconsiderate and hurting others, which is the scenario OP’s kid faced in MS. I am sorry you’re so challenged. [/quote]

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