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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The reality is this show could have been made with any religious or cultural or racial groups.

I observed the following IRL:

-Chinese friend’s entire family didn’t attend her wedding because they were outraged that she was marrying a non-Chinese man. Same religion, same advanced level of education, and the guy is awesome on all levels. Didn’t matter. Pretty sure we’ve seen movies about how this plays out in Asian culture, right?

-A white friend’s family threatened to cut her off when she got engaged to a black man. His family wasn’t any better: his family was blatantly hostile to her the first time he brought her to a family party. She wasn’t deterred despite leaving in tears. She kept showing up and being kind, and they eventually came around. Ditto for her family.

-A Muslim friend’s family did cut her off (stopped paying her tuition) when she got engaged to a catholic white American. She was American too btw—despite her American-born parents considering themselves as “Insert other Muslim country here.” That marriage was a disaster thanks to the unwillingness of her family to accept him. She caved eventually and her parents rewarded her with a new life in another city: fancy new place, new wardrobe, new car, etc.

I could go on, but I’ll stop here. As a shiksa whose future MIL enlisted the help of relatives to try to dissuade us from marrying (I won’t say how, but it was heavily orchestrated and blatant), [b]I chalk it up to loss of control and fear of the unknown that some rigid older women have. It’s a thing, which is why the evil MIL stereotypes exist in every culture, etc.[/b] [/quote]

Wow.  I gently offer to you another explanation: since her son has married someone non-Jewish she literally will not have Jewish grandchildren. I’m not saying that it’s right to put pressure on your kids; it certainly isn’t. But it’s not very mysterious why she felt this way. It’s actually a huge, huge cultural loss. Hopefully realizing that can lead you towards some compassion. [/quote]

If folks feel this way, then why raise your kids in the U.S.? Move to Israel, India, Saudi Arabia, Kenya, China, or wherever if having ethnically pure “[insert] grandchildren” is so important to you.

That’s the trade off you make when you come to America to live the good life. Don’t emotionally traumatize your otherwise lovely and competent adult kids/grandkids about it. [/quote]

It’s not about ethnically pure kids at all. It’s about fearing total disappearance of a community and thousands of years of traditions and culture. That actually is traumatizing especially given the Holocaust because that fear came so close to reality. I converted partly because I understood the importance of that. I don’t think it’s the same at all as a culture with many people to keep it going. I am from such a culture myself and my parents were not fearful of any loss.[/quote]

Thank you for explaining this so eloquently and compassionately. I think a lot of people just can’t understand. [/quote]

I agree. Nicely done and compassionate.
But is there discussions about being more evolution minded? I know the community is in many other ways. Not proselytizing but making conversions or intra-faith easier. Carrying on meaning and tradition without a "do or die" attitude. 
I mean most of us perform pagan rituals on holidays. Lots of ways to instill traditions.  [/quote]

+1 this. I understand the supposed reasoning, but realistically, as a white woman if I brought home a POC and my family asked why I brought them home/I can’t marry them, they would be racist.[b] If I brought home a Jewish partner and they asked who is the Jew and told me I couldn’t date them, they would be anti-Semitic. [/b]So while I understand the reasoning, that doesn’t mean the Jewish mother/shiksa trope should be accepted. And maybe that is what the show is trying to point out.c because it’s very cringe[/quote]

I say this as a shiksa married to a Jewish man, but...

The analogy you make is faulty.  Religion is different from race.  Both my parents and my DH's parents had deep concerns about our relationship.  And I don't blame them.  If religion is an important part of who you are, your belief system, and in some ways heaven/hell, there are valid concerns about compatibility that are very very different from race-based concerns.  We overcame them, obviously.  But they are not akin to racism.[/quote]

I'll add that if one person has made their religion so central to who they are that it is their profession, it is even more of a reason for concern.[/quote]

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