Reply to How to get through to DH that doing 80% doesn't count?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I see you. I literally call my husband Mr. 80%. It’s infuriating. He’ll empty the dishwasher and when he hits 80% it’s like he decides that’s enough - and then just leaves the rest. Projects all done to 80%. He changed the door handles on our front door and left everything out all over the foyer. It’s been two months and he still hasn’t touched up the paint. Ceiling fan replacement- same. He literally can’t complete something.

Ironically he’s all over his laundry but that’s because it only affects him! (When we first moved in together he wanted to combine laundry and I said no way in hell, I see where that’s going). [/quote]

Weird.  When my husband does a home improvement project (changing light fixtures, door handles, cabinets, painting, etc.) I feel like the least I can do is clean up the work area when he’s done.  Let him have a well-earned break rather than being annoyed at him for doing something productive that benefits our family.[/quote]

+1. We look at projects as a team endeavor and try to complete them together. If DH is doing the heavy lifting of fixing, then I help him clean up. It would feel really weird to watch him and not offer to help in some way. [/quote]

I agree!  It feels weird to watch your spouse work tirelessly and not help in some way.  Yet my DH does it regularly without a second thought.[/quote]
The flip side is that it’s borderline abusive to expect everyone to jump up and work on what you want them to do at the time you are doing it. You need to ask ahead of time if you expect them to work on your timeline. People are allowed to rest at home.[/quote]

I agree with you both! I think it depends on the task. Letting a spouse clean up the whole kitchen after you all enjoyed a meal together is rude -- you don't have to do the exact same amount of work but in that situation I do think you can postpone relaxing for a few minutes to pitch in. Same with getting the kids ready for school or preparing the house for visitors -- certain tasks are time sensitive and saying "well this isn't the timeline I want to do this on" is really unconvincing.  And yes that means I'm kind of rigid about cleaning up the kitchen same day and not letting dirty dishes sit out overnight. That unhygenic and makes the house smell.

But any non-time-sensistive chore I agree. If one person wants to get up and start doing laundry first thing or likes to vacuum on Sunday afternoons or whatever it's ridiculous to expect the other person to drop whatever they were doing to pitch in.[/quote]

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