Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate to say it but I kind of agree with you. DH is in sales and always exceeds his quota and is one of the top producers in his office. He wins national contests and by all means is successful at what he does. But he's 41 and only some years cracks 200K and that's barely. That is nothing to sneeze at but there serious money to be made if you're a talented salesman. He always wants to put everything off because he doesn't have consistent income and doesn't know if it will be a good/bad month/year. I work full time and he always promised me I could go part time (4 days/week) this coming year (childcare costs go down) due to my health issues  but he reneged again because even though he's having a great year this year he can't predict next year. If I'm realistic it's never going to happen because he's never going to feel comfortable with me reducing my salary by 20% with his income as an unknown. Btw 20% of my income is $14K/year. Not pocket change but not life changing money either. I think part of it is ego--he'd rather have "success" where he is now and is highly regarded vs. go somewhere else and risk not being viewed as talented and successful and BMOC .

I hear about people in sales raking it in and wonder why DH isn't pursuing positions like those. I think it's fear of failure but because of that it impacts all of our lives due to it being so up and down. He's always seeking a huge year but it doesn't pan out. If it did he'd be constantly seeking it again and being pissy when it didn't happen. Honestly if he's never going to seek a position with higher risk/reward I'd rather him take a job with like a 150K salary and call it a day so we can at least budget accurately and we can base decisions on known vs. unknown. He refuses because he says he only wants to be in sales but it affects the whole family. He's great when he gets a deal and then we have to walk on eggshells when he's having a bad streak. I'm over it. [/quote]

The "gap" is the reason he won't jump.  That time between when you leave current role  (literally leaving money on the table) and how ever long it takes to build your commission stream back up.  How long that takes is heavily dependent on the sales cycle of what you are selling and marketing resources you are provided or willing to pay for.

The best analogy I can give is, imagine you are playing poker and consistently winning at the casino but not winning big tournaments.  At the casino you have 80k of your own chips in front of you and there is a lot of money on the table, as it is higher limits, and you have good chance of winning.  The poker room boss comes over to you and offers you a deal, you can go to another table that is mostly beginners that you will do really well against.  But it is much lower limit table and will take you longer to get to the 80k and longer to get more than 80k even though it is pretty much a guarantee.  T

The caveat is the $80k stays at your current table and the casino (current employer) will keep most of it and the rest will get split amongst other players (other sales people that are staying).  To get you started the other table will give you $5k.  Again you know in the long run you can make more by going to the other table, but walking away from the 80k you have plus the other wins (sales) you are likely to get by playing the inherent odds (pipeline close rate) is hard to do and 99% of people would stay at the current table. [/quote]

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