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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Interesting convo. Oldest of the millennials here. Wife has been a SAHM to 3 kids for well over a decade. She worked for a F100 in management when she stepped away. If she’d stayed on track she’d make about 20-25% of what I make today. The money would be nice. But she was upfront with me from day 1 about wanting to SAHM.

Perhaps there is an assortment issue here. Overwhelming majority of our circle are in our boat with a SAHM. Of the few that do work, it is typically in a scaled back, flex role. The only exception is a mom of four in a big fed atty job and she makes about 10-15% of what her husband makes. So, not needed financially, but she likes to work. [/quote]

I think what you describe is more typical of middle or lower middle class.
Op is describing upper middle class millennials [/quote]

Really,  middle or lower class would be making 10 - 15% of HHI with a fed attorney salary?? I didn't realize lower or middle class hhi was 1 mil but this is DCUM[/quote]

Ha!  I had that thought too.  What is pp talking about that a seven figure HHI is lower middle class?  [/quote]

This thread isn’t about husbands income. It’s about a woman’s status regardless of their husband’s job. The question is if these women were high achievers/ Ivy League type grad in fields like law, medicine , engineering, etc. these are the woman we are discussing.[/quote]

Many posters conflate high-achieving and high-earning. I know know many academics (PIs, tenured professors). Many of them are well-recognized in their respective fields but not necessarily highly compensated. [/quote]

I don’t think it’s a conflation. Being an award winning NIH scientist is very impressive but making $160K at 36 in DC after attending Harvard and Cambridge for years is not that impressive. Barely or not being able to afford a house in your late 30s or not being able to have your first kid until 35 or 36 due to post doc obligations is not really a flex. Two of my friends meet the above criteria except one is at NIH and one is a professor in Europe (trying to be deliberately vague so I don’t identify them). They are both 36 and married to nice guys who are not high earners. Neither owns a house. One has two children and one just had her first. Kids are all in daycare settings all day due to work obligations and the cost of a nanny. I am in tech and thankful every day that I did not pursue a DPhil and that life. I make double what they do and am remote. I also met my very successful husband working in the real world. Having money is a total flex. [/quote]
 Curing cancer/ being an award-winning scientist for $160k a year is a bigger flex in my book than being a glorified salesperson for loads of money. I agree that scientists need to be paid more. [/quote]

+1 and I'm curious how old the PP is because an interesting thing happens around 45 and people starting thinking about meaning and purpose in life in a deeper way and what I see are people who went into fields they are passionate about where their work has very clear and tangible value (cancer research being a good example but can also think of civil engineers and teachers at all levels and pretty much anyone in the medical field) have a higher level of happiness and contentment over their choices. Whereas many people who went the more corporate route for money reasons (myself included) hit a wall and the money itself does not make up for the feeling that you are just shuffling paperwork around for no reason except to make yourself and others rich. I left my job and am now "underemployed" and focused on my kids. I know others who took sabbaticals and mental health breaks. When 50 starts to loom into view you start to get a little philosophical and for some of us the jobs in consulting and tech lose all their allure and just become paychecks. Big ones yes but just paychecks nonetheless.

The person I know with the most job satisfaction in our mid to late 40s is a nurse anesthetist who dropped out of med school after a year to change tracks and has never regretted it. Good pay plus work life balance plus a feeling that her work genuinely matters and is appreciated by colleagues and patients. I have probably outearned her by multiples in the last 20 years and I envy her. Husband is a real estate agent. They have a really nice life.[/quote]

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