Reply to Inheritance when one child has kids, the other does not

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Inheritance when one child has kids, the other does not "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Assuming we are talking about a sizeable sum here - open and fully fund grandkids' college funds.

Then divide what remains evenly between children.[/quote]

Nope…give each kid the same regardless
Of children.

Since most adults will pay for their kids’ college, this is just indirectly giving one adult child hundreds of thousands of dollars more.

Fund the grandkids to pass $$&s when alive but reduce what the adult child by same amount.[/quote]

I would be so upset if my inheritance was lowered because I had more kids than my sibling. My sibling sees my parents every other year. Im here with them daily. My kids help them out a lot too- weeding, cleaning plus my kids spend a lot of time with them. I don’t think my kids deserve an inheritance but don’t think that grandparents get nothing out of grandkids. I think my kids are my parents purpose for living and their lives wouldn’t have been complete. Why should my inheritance be reduced?[/quote]

It is 100% okay to give different amounts!

For example:

My sibling is always "too busy" to help with anything with the parents.  We both are a plane ride away.  Sibling has not seen parents in 9 years.  Only ever saw them prior to that because I paid for their airfare (and neice) to visit us when parents were with us.  During major medical issues, sibling refused to come and help (had no real reason not to come, they had no work at that time-ssmmer vacation, and I was willing to pay all expenses, it was just them giving their time)

Meanwhile, I help parents with everything (even from a distance), visit a few times per year, helped get them into a CCRC (Paid entry fee), am their POA and executor of the wills, etc.

When parents die, I will get repaid for the CCRC entry fee, essentially leaving little to nothing for sibling to inherit.  I don't need it, but will take it because sibling is ungrateful and unhelpful.  Parents don't really care if they give sibling much.

In reality, I'm the sibling who has helped parents for the last 25+ years with time and energy.  So it's not far fetched to understand that parents want to leave more to me.

[/quote]

Two minds here:

One - your parents should pay you back for the CCRC entry fee. I've told a friend that she needs to document every time she pays her mom's taxes in order to recoup anything from the estate if possible. The two other sisters are not contributing towards these expenses - they just can't. But she should try to figure out how she can be made as whole as possible in the most transparent way possible. So, make it as transparent as possible. You and your sis may have troubles, but minimize the unnecessary ones. My paternal aunt took nearly everything when my dad's mom died. She claimed she had been the one who covered everything. It burned my parents because she had been left the much larger parcel of land and my parents had also given my dad's mom a lot of money from their wedding as his mom was a recent widow. My aunt wouldn't take any of this into account and their relationship never recovered.

Two - DH graduated from college 2 years after older sister, who spent a lot of time traveling over the eight years after she graduated from college. She and her BF, now husband, would work jobs, save their money,  then take off on 2-3 month trips every year. Then for the next ten years she started her family and did not work outside the home. DH started working the fall after college graduation and has been working ever since. He has been more financially successful than she has since college graduation. And he began saving from when he first graduated at 22. Part of him thinks his financial success should be taken into account. BUT if he ends up covering the majority of his parents' expenses, he is not totally sold that she should inherit whatever assets remain and he should get little to none. As he says, "She chose not to save money for her own retirement for eight years. She wasn't working in a lower paid profession. She wasn't a SAHM. She worked jobs, quit them, and then took the 2-5K to take big trips. Why is that getting rewarded?"

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics