Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do not apologize. I would be pissed if I had a sibling like him and my parents called to demand an apology.  Also why do you let your mother call and inform you he is being dropped off as if you are a daycare? Put a stop to that now. [/quote]

A few reasons - one is because it's only 4-6 times a year so not a HUGE deal. Another is my brother will tell me the truth about my parents (they'll claim a sprain when it's really a fracture, they'll claim a cold when it's bronchitis, etc.). He was the one who told me that my dad was saying he's going to clean the gutters himself next month. I don't want my dad on a high ladder at his age doing physical labor on his day off. Now that we know, we can find a good company to do it for them. [b]And the third is to give my parents a break from him[/b]. [/quote]

So let's get this straight, your brother is an involved uncle who visits multiple times a year, is not a rude or ill mannered guest, is not dependent or a burden to you, in fact is quite useful to you. Your parents have asked you for no help or indicated that he is a burden to them. What exactly justifies you or your 7 year old treating him with such contempt? [/quote]

He's not involved. He won't play with the kids, or watch them play sports, or attend recitals, plays or games. He only comes here when my parents send him over. He lays on the couch and gets up to eat meals. When my DD last asked him to quiz her for a spelling test he told her to ask DH or me because he was busy. He was watching a rerun of Big Bang. My brother is not trying to be helpful to tell me about my parents - he's gossiping and complaining (Mom is on crutches so she's making really easy dinners instead of the good ones I like). I do not treat him with contempt. I shared my feelings here, anonymously, with strangers. I smile, I freshen up the guest room, make the foods he likes, invite him to do all sorts of different things trying to hit upon something he'd enjoy or at least put up with. He sleeps late, complains about the kids making noise (after like, 9am!), eats, lays on the couch, sleeps, and then leaves. I sit with him while he's watching tv and chat with him about what we're watching, news, friends we both used to know who I've kept in touch with, our plans each day, etc. My son asked what my brother does. He didn't understand the vague answer he got and kept trying to understand. I stopped him. [/quote]

Ask your parents to reimburse you for your babysitting services next time.[/quote]

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