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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you need to understand and accept that 9 out of 10 MILs only care about their child, and care about their spouses only inasmuch as they add value to their children’s lives.
It’s just the way it is.
Don’t expect your MIL to care even if she is polite enough to ask you how you are etc 
That’s why she is trying to assess the situation FOR HER SON and maybe her grandchild, and do so without you standing in the way and blocking the airwaves so to speak.
Use your own parents for comfort! Stop expecting it from ILs!
Signed,
-someone who has been burned [/quote]

This may be all well and true. And as multiple pp have declared, a MIL can say whatever she wants to her son anytime she has the opportunity to communicate with him. The thing that so many posters seem to be missing is that depending on what and how she chooses to communicate, she might cause her DIL to decide that she cannot stand her. Whether it’s morally sound for the DIL to act on that feeling is irrelevant. If you want to have a good and close relationship with your adult son and grandchildren, MILs would be wise to treat their DILs with all the kindness and respect in the world. Many DILs will shove their feelings to the side and allow access to her kids, but many will NOT. Why is it so hard to be compassionate, kind and loving toward the life partner of your adult kids?? You are a complete fool to be anything less.

The fact is that DILs (particularly those with children) have all the power and all of the leverage. They are usually the gate keepers to their kids. Unkind MILs, on the other hand, literally have NOTHING a DIL wants. Unkind, meddling and gossiping MILs have to be some of the dumbest people on the planet.[/quote]

Unless your marriage is airtight, and OPs certainly isn't, the DILs power is fleeting. And OP already couldn't stand her MIL because she didn't get pampered enough in pregnancy. [/quote]

Ok so why would a mil be dumb enough to bash the woman her son loves more than anyone on the planet she literally has everything to lose her son and grandchildren. I’m not even talking from an ethical standpoint but a logical one. Aside from it being just plain wrong to bash the person your son chose as his life partner it’s just incredibly dumb as the mil has a lot more to lose. Like why do that to yourself?[/quote]

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