Reply to About to Jump Off a Ledge Over Upcoming MIL Visit, Please Talk Me Down

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've stopped waiting for DH to prioritize my needs re his family and instead just take control now and don't feel guilty if there are hurt feelings in the process

I'd call her up and say "i'm sorry DH said it was good to visit again, but its not a good time for us and we will need to reschedule.  there is too much going on and it'd be overwhelming to have another visit right now.  one week in july would work great though but we have to cancel now"

she can be upset, who cares. dh can be upset but he brought it upon himself[/quote]

I'd bet a million oreos that mil will not hear one word of this and will be on a plane even sooner. [/quote]

OP here, yes, this is true.  There is a language issue (which I sometimes think is deliberate), and a general inability to communicate like a normal human, plus the fact that she doesn't even tell us when she's coming sometimes.  She's here now, which came as a total shock to me, as I was upset about the prospect of her arriving a few weeks from now.  But....knock knock, guess who's back, a flutter of the hands and something about snow, and even DH looked somewhat crestfallen to see her. I'm heading to my mom's for a couple days right now.  I flat out lied and said she's sick and needs me.  [/quote]

The passive aggressiveness is making you feel like a victim. You posted little stuff you also do on page 1.

Just tell them you need privacy or a respite, so you’re going to your mom’s. No need to lie. Tell her stuff every time like pp’s suggested, instead of doing things to undermine her that probably only backfire if they lead her to redouble her efforts because you’re incapable.

At the very least it will get you out of victim mode. [/quote]

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