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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gentle parenting and 123 magic and Time outs are NOT permitted in daycares, centers, any early childcare setting

You gotta let them cry, be angry but not act on it, let them calm by themselves, let them regulate their feelings. Even adults needs a quiet calm space to rest

It's annoying seeing some parents using GP, 123 magic LOL no early educator do that

Childcare resource center advises early educators to not use timeouts, 123 magic

Listen to those who knows about early child development [/quote]

[i]You gotta let them cry [/i]-- agreed, this is actually a fundamental concept behind gentle parenting, learning to let kids cry and be upset. That's part of the gentleness, the idea that you can feel your feelings and no one is going to scream at you "don't cry!" or "I'm sick of your whining!" You can get your kid to comply with rules without requiring them to act like they love all the rules or don't have negative feelings about it.

[i]Be angry but not act on in[/i] -- literally, gentle parenting. Of course you get mad at your kids or at a situation. But gentle parenting says you need to be emotional mature enough to work through that anger without yelling or hitting. This serves two purposes. One, because yelling and hitting aren not effective (I also think they are abusive but don't want to get into an argument about that -- the truth is they just don't work). But two, because seeing you get mad, work through it without acting on it, and then move on, serves as a powerful teaching tool to a child who is watching and imitating everything you do. Being angry but not acting on it is one of the best things you can do for your kid because it gives them a model to follow when they get angry, which they will.

[i]Let them calm by themselves[/i] -- this is the only one from you list that I think has a caveat, but I think it illustrates the difference between a daycare/preschool setting and home. Yes, kids have to learn how to calm themselves and it's important for caregivers to give them space to do that and not always swoop in to try and manage their emotions (I think this is where I lot of people go wrong with gentle parenting, is thinking it means you need to make sure your kid is never unhappy about anything, but that's not actually gentle parenting). But I think parents do have to give more comfort than a daycare worker would, especially for kids at daycare age, because they are setting the groundwork for a lifelong relationship where they ideally want their kids to come to them with problems in the future. So yes, give space for calming themselves, but I think parents have to be a bit more involved and present with kids when they are upset so that kids learn they are not totally on their own moving forward. A daycare worker can take a more detached approach and that is totally fine because it's a more public setting and the child will learn how to handle a setting like that. A home is not a public setting and that level of detachment could make a child feel abandoned by a parent, especially at an age like 2 or 3. Older kids usually need (and often demand) more space to be alone and work through emotions, because they are also better at doing it.

[i]Let them regulate their feelings [/i]-- yup, this is the whole goal of gentle parenting, to teach kids how to regulate emotion, through modeling and showing them that emotions are not scary or unmanageable, but normal and tend to resolve on their own.

[i]Even adults need a quiet calm place to rest[/i] -- yes, exactly, adults do better in calm environments and when they get plenty of quiet and rest. The is precisely the appeal of gentle parenting which seeks to create a gentle, calm home environment where there is not a ton of conflict.[/quote]

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