Reply to What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

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I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and [b]would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids.[/b] I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends. [/quote]

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.[/quote]

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. [b]Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge.[/b] Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.[/quote]

Yes, I do understand that you absolutely do not want a child in your financial position. The issue with telling people you want children but are waiting for xyz is that people, due to your age, will try to warn you that you might not be able to have kids when you get xyz.

You don’t want kids right now and it sounds like you are not interested in trying to make it work with what you have. That’s valid. But at some point saying you want them eventually sounds delusional. Why invite the conversation? [/quote]

Op here. I don't tell people anything. I just tell them to drop the subject. I've said that in many posts. That's why I find the advice by these people nosy.[/quote]

Unfortunately, telling people to drop the subject often makes them more curious and more likely to find a way to bring it up again. [/quote]

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