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[quote=Anonymous]I saw this as a most popular thread. My older DD (10) doesn’t want to be a parent and pretty much never has. I recognize that may change but parenting is too hard and involved for me to push that. She’d have to want it for herself. My younger daughter (6) talks about “when I’m a mother” quite often.

I’m one of three children and my sister and I both had trouble getting pregnant. We eventually did (and she ended up having three children as did my brother). I truly hope my parents wouldn’t have valued us differently if I’d had no kids and I don’t think they value me differently for having two children. My maternal grandmother moved in with us and helped my stay at home mom in the summers and came on some family vacations with us. My paternal grandparents lived far away and rarely saw us. I see my own parents about three times every two years (every summer and every other Christmas) because they are far away. They are welcome to visit. Similarly I only see my in-laws every other Christmas and begrudge that we have to travel to them cross country with our kids even though they are healthy. They haven’t visited us in 7 years.

If your children gave you grandchildren would you pay for them (I read years ago that the avg cost of raising a child was $250k. I bet it’s more now)? Pressure them to live near you? Help care for them?

Conversely, can you “borrow” a grandchild? Our former neighbors are 30 years older than we are and never had kids. We meet up about once a year even though they are also across the country. They are very much our children’s “bonus” family. [/quote]

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