Reply to 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends where my kids end up.[/quote]

No. Please don't be sure that will be for the best. 
My mom moved to the area after I had my first child and she decided she wanted to be a very involved grandparent. 
I warned her she wouldn't like it here, and cautioned against it time and time again when she would bring it up. 
DC is very different from where she was born and raised and spent her whole life until at 65 she wanted to move to be near us. I hadn't lived anywhere near family for 10 years at this point, so it wasn't a new thing for me to be "gone".
She wore me down and I couldn't stop her, and she ended up moving 10 minutes away from us in the city. Was it good for childcare? Sure, for a little bit. 
But at the same time it made us feel trapped here, when perhaps in those early years we would've made a different move. It strained my relationship with her. She never adapted to east coast urban life and became depressed and isolated. 
Cue health problems (exacerbated by alcoholism and depression) and in the span of 5 years i was trying to manage 2 little kids and caretake for a parent with serious health issues in a place she had no other infrastructure or history. She moved away from siblings and friends she'd been near her whole life and thought our family would be enough. We weren't and also didn't want that burden. It did not turn out well.[/quote]

counterpoint- my siblings and I all ended up here within a mile of each other, and 2 of us and my parents are in the same neighborhood.  my parents help with childcare for all of our kids in a significant way (e.g. watches my baby everyday, feeds us dinner, pick up from school/camp/etc for older kids).  I think this is a know your family dynamic sort of thing- works great for us and we love it but won't work for everyone[/quote]

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