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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of you don't seem to get that OP doesn't have an "easy" kid. And easy kid would be able to move on from this easily. They'd shrug it off, "read the room" as people suggest, and move on.

This is obviously an issue because neither kid is easy. OP's kid has social anxiety and is sensitive to rejection. The other kid is resistant to performing basic social niceties for some reason.

The problem OP actually posed is "should I say something to the other mom the next time she mentions 'mean girl' behavior?" Not whether the other child should be forced to say hi to her daughter. And the answer is yes, OP should say something because these are two children who are struggling with social skills, and it would be helpful for the adults to be on the same page about it. I would be gentle but try to offer some context: "I agree, mean girl behavior is an issue, but I also think part of it is that the kids are not always sure of what the right behavior is, or how to do it. I know my DD gets anxious in social situations and can come on too strong. I've noticed sometimes your DD withdrawal and doesn't respond. Both of these could be interpreted as being mean, but I think the kids just need more training in how to socialize in an appropriate way."

Like... neither of these kids is nailing their social interactions. They are 8 and need guidance. It is rude to ignore someone when they say hi to you, but also you have to learn to read social cues and give people space when they need it.

A lot of people on this thread don't seem to have learned these very basic lessons about social interactions either, so maybe we should be more purposeful about how we teach our children.[/quote]

NP. This pretty much hits the nail on the head for me. We're in a situation where my kid could be considered the mean one from OP's post. I encouraged DC to say hi back to another kid. The hi then would turn into repeated requests to sit together to and from school, play dates, etc. DC tried and they don't click. The need stressed DC out and they shut down sometimes. We still asked DC to say hi [b]and[/b] that it was OK to say a polite no thanks to the asks. So DC tries (and is not always perfect). That's on us as parents to help with, right? Kindness with boundaries when they're necessary.[/quote]

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