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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unfriendly = mean comments, bumping as you pass, whispering, glaring, getting others involved in being mean.

Neutral = doesn’t choose to interact with your kid. NOT A CRIME.

Friendly = friendly, but guess what, still human and imperfect, so maybe some bumps on the road here and there

Does-not-exist-OP-expectation-of-friendship = absolutely perfectly friendly at all times[/quote]

You must’ve missed where I’ve said multiple times that there’s no expectation of friendship [/quote]

You must have missed where NEUTRAL IS WHAT THIS KID IS, not “unfriendly.”[/quote]

No, ignoring someone who says hi to you really is unfeiendly. I think you're trying to make it ok by saying it's neutral. But it's not neutral, it's literally unfriendly. If someone you know and see every day says hi, and you ignore them, you are being unfriendly. You cannot unilaterally change the definition of words. 
[/quote]

This. Some of these posters should read up on the psychological effects of the silent treatment. Ignoring someone is a form of rejection and is how many people express anger or resentment. It's considered dysfunctional.

I'm not saying that means the 8 yr old should be forced to say hi to anyone, these kids are young and still learning, just saying that the idea that refusing to say hi to someone who has greeted you could be seen as a "neutral" behavior is not an argument that most psychologists would agree with. It is a hurtful behavior and it's normal for OP's DD to feel hurt by it. I get what people are saying about learning not to care -- I agree people do need to learn not to take it personally. But silent treatment is a dysfunctional behavior and being hurt by the silent treatment is a normal reaction.[/quot

Hi- I am a psychologist and what you’re talking about refers to when it happens in very close relationships. Think between spouses or a parent and child, or even 2 best friends. Yes, being hurt by the silent treatment by anyone makes sense… but I am concerned with how the OP seems to have some deeper anger towards an 8 year old child. As many, have suggested, there also could be a million reasons. One, we don’t have the whole story or the other side from the other parent. At the age of 8, you have so many things going on. Some children are very extroverted and friendly and others less so. I will also say since I do have experience working with sex abuse in children, there are many children who are quieter and less trusting because they have experienced some kind of sexual assault. Not saying that is the case at all in this situation, but you would be shocked to know how many 8 years olds have experienced a sexual assault - that’s something almost no one outside the family will know about. The point is, you can never assume to know anything about anyone. Have some empathy. [/quote]

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