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[quote=Anonymous]This is OP and I cannot believe this is a 16 page thread.  Never stop dcum, never stop.

Update- DH and I have talked a a lot since my OP (not about this thread- he would abhor me posting this on here).  And just to clarify a few things about my husband- yes we met in undergrad at UVA and got married right after law school.  I supported us with my teaching salary while he was in law school (luckily life was cheap back then).  My husband is an incredible person and could care less about material things.  Hence why the power and money draw of big law aren’t as meaningful to him as other people who crave that.  He drives a ten year old car.  His suits are from Jos A Bank, not Brooks Brothers.  He’s wanted to buy himself a pool table for our basement for five years and hasn’t done it because he said it’s a want and not a need.

He doesn’t set a budget for me.  Ever.  But I’m also not a big spender and I don’t care about jewelry or purses or fancy clothes.  We do not hold back for our kids and they do expensive extracurricular sports but they go to public (minus the little one but she goes to a church preschool) but we make sure our kids know every single day that they are lucky and blessed and we encourage giving back all the time.

DH took this job for us.  He has stayed in this job for us.  And he doesn’t want me going back to work because he genuinely believes it’s best to have me home with the kids.  Again, not in a controlling way.  We just value this.

He has decided to stay with his firm for another year and see how it goes.  Save as much as we can.  And then reassess.  Yes he wants to go to the govt eventually and whether that’s in one year or three or ten is TBD.  And yes he knows that his time there will likely be temporary and not permanent and he may have to go back to a different firm or go in house.  But we will cross that bridge when the time comes.

Thank you to everyone who gave kind and helpful advice.  And to everyone who has been in this boat or is currently  navigating something similar, I send you hope that it all works out.  All we can do is what’s best for us and our families.  I am very very lucky that my husband and I are truly a partnership who support each other (which is why the posters who suggested I’m an awful person who is a gold digger just made me laugh.  You truly don’t even know).  You just have to do your best.  That’s all we can all do.    [/quote]

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