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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I am still reading this thread and digesting things. I am not 100% sure what I intend to do, but I think I have settled on a couple things:

1. I am not responding to the email. I don’t see how any good can come of it under any scenario. 
2. I am not going to the school. I don’t read the letter as threatening and in the absence of other information, I don’t see a reason to escalate yet. That could change. (FWIW, she goes to a public school). 
3. I want to talk to my daughter. I still need to think this through more but I feel like we should talk about this at least generally.

I will say this, anyone who believes 17 year olds are over mean girl behavior and would not engage in ostracizing others is wrong. Some are still fully engage, but definitely to a lessor degree than when younger. I believe this, and I have seen it because I have a close group of sorority sisters from college and I have heard upsetting stories. I do not believe that is an indictment of my daughter, but I do not believe age alone absolves someone of being a mean girl (or person), which is why I am trying digest this instead of being reactionary (which I am inclined to do because I love my daughter and think she is a good person).[/quote]

Agree with your strategy, except number 2. I would absolutely schedule a meeting and tell the school and even the police, for the following reasons

1. These anonymous letters (emails today), were called poison pens back in the day. They usually don’t stop at one letter, so you may receive another one, and it’s better to start a formal record should anything else happen.

2. There is a chance that the writer has targeted other students, and if so, your info would help. The school may already know about a student who has done this to others in the past.

3. There is a slight threat in the email (people won’t put up with her), which is hard to gauge.

4. Although the tone is that of a teenager, it very well could be a parent trying to seem like a student.

5. You can consider hiring an email tracing investigator to trace the email. There are not many email addresses that are truly anonymous. [/quote]

Solid advice. [/quote]

100% agree. I would add two things: (1) talk to your kid about the content of the email and your plan to talk to the school so you are not going behind their back. And (2) If you think there could be a grain of truth to what the letter writer is saying, use your judgment about how you address it with your child. IMO you should generally trust your own child over an anonymous letter writer (unless your child gives you a reason not to). You, not DCUM, know your kid, you have observed them around their friends and siblings for 17 years, and you should be able to determine whether you need to discuss the alleged "mean" behavior with them or not. [/quote]

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