Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just wow to some posters on this thread.
 As a former teacher I was often aghast at how little time/attention some parents gave their children. OP does not sound like that at all though. Shame on those who are trying to shame moms who need a few hours to themselves once a week.

My mom was one of those martyr types and it was completely unhealthy, she was absolutely miserable, and my parents ended up divorced.... but hey, at least we never had to have a babysitter, right?[/quote]

Read again. OP got more than “a few hours” to herself. She’s upset that she’s getting 4.5 hours instead of 5 or wherever they agreed to with their rigid contract. She just CAN’T function without that bit of “her” time and thinks it’s unjust that her husband gets a bit of extra “him” time on one day. OP really doesn’t want to spend an additional half hour with her kid AND really doesn’t want her husband “winning” that prized extra alone time (like that poor kid is a chore). It’s petty and self centered. I bet OP was a bridezilla.[/quote]

+1 to me it's that it's a LOT of "me time" (esp if every weekend) and having his conversation in front of DD so it's clear neither parent wants to be with her. Having a sep conversation between adults afterward about how the schedule is working and repeated issues with DH etc would be different.

OP is just not that into being mom. Which is her prerogative. But let's not pretend that getting 5 hrs of time to yourself every wknd when you also work FT during the week is the mark of someone who really wants to spend time with their one child.[/quote]

This nails it.

You see this all the time. Two selfish people can survive marriage because you can continue to be pretty selfish, especially if you are reasonably well off. But add a kid into the mix, and everything falls apart because you have to be so much less selfish. But also, come on, [b]I'm not sure what OP's job is, but even jobs that require a lot of work still afford ample "me time" -- just not many hours in a row. [/quote][/b]

F you. I’m a lawyer. I kept my family single-handedly afloat when my husband lost his job. I still make more money. I am the source of health benefits. I work hard for my clients and I have busted my @ss to keep my family stable.

-op[/quote]

OP, there are so many women like you out there doing more than their partners in every single area. I said upthread that we women must understand that men resist the loss of their traditional prerogatives at all costs. They think your sacrifices are more than reasonable given the prize you landed - them. They will let you work yourself into the grave. This is why men do not compromise on their leisure time and hobbies no matter who earns more. My father stopped working 15 years ago, but my mother worked until last year. When she stopped cooking he started eating out. He does the same things around the house he did when he worked: repairs and some yard work. No cleaning or organizing. Many men are like this. We have just convinced ourselves that they are not because our entry into the workforce decades ago made it nearly impossible for us to maintain the same standards of home and family care. Men will let the house come to resemble a tenement before they lift a finger doing things they regard as unnecessary - i.e. chores that do not bring profit, power/prestige, or pleasure. None of the SAHDs I know keeps the house half as clean as most  SAHMs do. Just trying to picture your DH -- or anyone's husband -- carefully preparing and lovingly packing a lunch for you. You cannot even imagine it, can it?[/quote]

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