Reply to S/O How do you justify having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Rather than doing the respectable thing and properly ending your marriage first?  Obviously it’s driven by selfishness: not wanting to lose access to your kids, having to give up some money, and no longer being able to carry on the “family man/woman” image.  If your AP is single you’re likely giving them false hope, and if they’re also married you’re both scumbags.

How do you live with yourself? [/quote]

People are just bored. An affair seems exciting. Feeling wanted is exciting. The cat and mouse courting is exciting. It's not right, of course, but that's what fuels most of it. And opportunity. If it falls into your lap, so to speak, a surprising amount of married folks will capitalize. [/quote]

I think a lot of the time people only know it’s not right in the abstract without really understanding why, how corrosive it can be to everyone involved; the long term internal effects. They think it’s just a social norm that maybe can be harmlessly circumvented without really grasping the soul reasons. It’s sort of like the tree of knowledge, you don’t understand until it’s too late.[/quote]

+1 the movies and books don't ever touch on the lasting trauma and emotional toll it takes on a family and a spouse.  Lifelong issues stem from it, and often carry down generations.  There is only how people think they will feel and others will feel which is not the reality of the bomb that goes off.  [/quote]

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