Reply to Husband refuses to help with night feedings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean really this thread is a cautionary tale against:

1. Marrying man children.
2. Listening to women who mistake being taken advantage of for “strength”.

Ladies know your worth and teach your daughters![/quote]

OP here. I resent your analysis of the situation. While my husband and I are having differing opinion with night feedings, we are on the same page with many things. My husband and I have been happily married for 3 years and together for 5. He is a great husband and father. I don't understand the point of acting like you know an entire person or their relationship based on one sore spot. [/quote]

Great husbands and fathers don’t let their 5 wk postpartum wives go without sleep so they can get in a workout before they telework.

[/quote]

This!!! Your husband is being a sh@t!

He needs to take the 10 pm feeding and a feeding before going to work so you can get at least a 4 hour stretch of sleep each day. He does not get 8 hours to sleep and time to work out when you don’t have any point in the day to get one 4 hour stretch.. All those ppl who say sleep when the baby sleeps during the day - it’s crap if you’re not one of those people that can fall instantly asleep (which OP has said she’s not).

As others have said DO NOT have another child with this man. He clearly prioritizes himself (including his work out) over you and your baby. You’re delusional if you think he is a good husband (although being so sleep deprived  can make you delusional). You need to have a come to Jesus moment with him now to change his behavior and selfishness now or this is going to continue to be an issue. If he doesn’t, get a night nurse to get you through and then seriously think about divorce once your baby is a little older because your husband is showing you his true colors now.[/quote]

OP here. I am upset with this argument, but I will not bash him. I absolutely love and adore my husband. He is a great partner and father. He took over do 100% of everything when he was on paternity to let me rest and breastfeed. I did nothing but breastfeed, shower, and rest for the first month. He cooked and brought me meals, made sure I had drinks, did all the cleaning, did all the laundry, and did all the grocery shopping. He still does cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. He does give me a brea after he is done working to rest and take a shower. He cooks dinner most of time and cleans up dinner.

I'm not sure why people think one disagreement or issue means the person is bad. You can have issues, but that doesn't mean the person is horrible. We want one more child. We will not be getting divorced over something as dumb as night feedings. I don't believe in blowing up my marriage over a situation that may not exist a couple month from now. I think it's weird to convince me to divorce him over such an issue. [/quote]

People think so because the one disagreement shows that your husband either lacks intelligence or lacks empathy. He can clean, cook, do laundry and still be rigid and slow.

[b]Ask him this: " How can sleep be so important for you that you need 8 straight hours of it in order to work, but you are okay with me going without a 4 hour stretch?"[/b]

If he needs 8 straight hours of sleep, he certainly knows that the fli.sy naps you can take during the day are not good enough to get you rested.[/quote]

Because he has a job to go to and OP and does not.  OP can sleep during the day when the baby naps.  [/quote]

1-2 hour day time naps ( that's the max she can get if baby is up every 2-3 hours) cannot even begin to compare to a 4 hour stretch of sleep.

He should take a nap during his lunch break when he is working from home and give her a 4 hour stretch at night.[/quote]

She can get a four hour stretch if she goes to bed earlier and he takes the 10 pm shift.  That to me is the obvious compromise here.  But if he isn’t willing, she either sucks it up or hires someone.  There’s really no other options.[/quote]

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