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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I would discuss with him an open marriage and  if you still sleep with him use condoms. I don’t feel it’s feasible to divorce just because of sex, if he’s a great father, and your life is otherwise comfortable. I would be more concerned if he had a serious affair that’s a marriage killer. He seems to have sex dependency

What I find appalling with cheaters is then opening marriage for themselves and often keeping “clean” spouses on call for sex when they want to, and fully unaware.

You should be able to fulfill your sexual desires and feel made adoration as well, not to always think about him and his transgressions.

You have to learn to treat sex as basic bodily function like meals. Your husband has meals out at times, same applies to sex. [/quote]

This.

I would confront him only that I would require condoms in the future, assuming I wanted to stay in the marriage.[/quote]

How are you supposed to kiss a husband you know is likely having oral sex with other people?  How do you perform that function for him knowing where his parts have been?  Do you wear a condom for that too?[/quote]

:shock:  totally aside from the cheating issue, did your significant other come to you as a virgin?

People have a lot of hang ups about sex being dirty.[/quote]

Yes, we met very young and each lost our virginity to the other.

The funny thing is, we've had what I thought was a pretty dirty (in a good way) sex life for the last 20+ years. We've been pretty adventurous. Tried all kinds of new things. Not super kinky I guess but robust and regular. Only short breaks around the births of our children. I've never said no to anything he wanted to do or try, I've worn all kinds of outfits and played with toys and watched porn and all kinds of stuff. Ask and ye shall receive. I enjoy sex.

Everything I saw from his laptop is him meeting up with a couple for threesomes with a man and a woman. In the exchanges he's very clear he's straight and not looking for sex with the man, but rather for another man to enjoy a beautiful woman with. He's told over the years this is a fantasy of his, but never asked me to act it out with him in real life. It never crossed my mind he would go from telling me this fantasy to acting it out with 2 strangers. [/quote]

This is different.  It would be easier for me to potentially forgive in some ways because he's looking for an experience and not another person per se; however, now that you see him as a liar and how easily he does it to you, it will be hard to see him any other way. [/quote]

IT's not female, female, male.  It's weird to me he wants the other man there. That raises some really weird new element into his sexuality and where he is headed or questioning.[/quote]

OP here, I agree. [/quote]

It's weird to you.  To people who have a cuckold fetish, the presence of the other man is necessary.  If he was questioning or not straight, he wouldn't be drawing the boundary of "the woman only".  [/quote]

Yeah but for the cuckold fetish the wife also has to be present. The cuckold fetish is common. But it involves the wife being with the third party while the husband watches. [/quote]

You misunderstand.  His fetish would not be to BE the cuckold.  It would be to cuckold the other man.  Hence his asking specifically for couples where he only performs on the woman, IN FRONT OF the man.  He either has that, or he likes to be watched/watch, but is not interested in performing on/with the man.[/quote]

Ok that makes sense too. I’d not have an issue with this as long as he is safe.[/quote]

there is no way to have safe sexual hook ups with random internet strangers and i dont even just mean stds. if you do it long enough you will end up in a bad situation. you are ripe for blackmail, robbery, physical violence, being drugged, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, etc. it's incredibly high risk behavior[/quote]

Meh.  I did it for years (don’t anymore) and never had a single issue.  [/quote]

Lots of people have driven drunk without an accident but that doesn’t mean drunk driving is safe. [/quote]

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