Reply to Married and infatuated with coworker

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Married and infatuated with coworker"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like a despicable person.  Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser.  10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy[/quote]
Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that. [/quote]

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him. [/quote]
I don’t know. I just know that I will never forget the first time I met him, it sounds melodramatic but it’s true. I haven’t felt such chemistry in so long, at least 20 years, if ever. I will never forget that. I admit I don’t know him well but I sense he feels similarly. I don’t work with him but we live in the same area and after we met he suddenly started walking by more frequently and chatting.[/quote]

Classic limerence, he’s not that into you and you don’t know each other. You are addicted to how he makes you feel but you know nothing at all about him. Get therapy or join a limerence support community like the one on Reddit . [/quote]
So everyone who has chemistry with someone is in limerance? How do you differentiate between lust potentially love and limerance? Couldn’t limerance grow into love?[/quote]

+1 so anytime a married person feels attraction towards another person it’s must be chalked up to limerence? Single people never go through limerence? And god forbid what someone felt for the person they eventually married is downgraded to limerence, I guess? [/quote]

I feel like limerance is just a another label and it’s minimizing my true feelings. I have no idea how this man feels towards me. Our feelings could be mutual, heaven forbid. So, minimizing it and calling it limerance means it can never grow into anything substantial, it’s saying I have a disorder, how crazy of me to expect requited love from anyone especially a married man.[/quote]

DP. How you got from "we go on work trips together, I want him" all the way to thinking you should "expect requited love" is stunning. OP, you keep coming back to defend your feelings. It's good to own your feelings but you seem almost to be writing yourself deeper and deeper into what you see as love, as you respond here.

Please, if you value your kids and your marriage vow at ALL (even your vow to a guy you say is a good guy you don't love)---[i]put the work travel on ice any way you can[/i], and get therapy now. Not just to see the reality of how you're fixating on this colleague, but also to figure out why you're so unhappy with your REAL life even if he weren't in it.

And OP, you won't believe this yet, but if your "we click" infatuation weren't this one man, it would be another one you met in some other context. Your unhappiness would find some other outlet in some other person. Deal with your actual life and its issues, rather than focusing everything on whether posters here are supposedly minimizing your feelings.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics