Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So DS 30's has finally gone into therapy to work on himself, but now he is basically blaming me and my marriage problem/fighting, my religion that I forced on him, my homeschooling, my house rules, etc. All these things caused his mental problems and unhappiness according to his therapist. I have apologized if I contributed but there is not much to be done now. He wrote me a letter about it. It's depressing have all this blame hurled at me, I can't change the past and I wasn't a perfect parent - but we did our best and I thought he had a fairly happy childhood, much better than DH and I. I tried to give him the childhood I wanted as a kid. It's causing me to feel down. No one can hurt you like your kid.[/quote]

I suspect that therapists cause more problems than they solve.

[/quote]

Typical response given by someone who is not capable of admitting their own fault or failures.[/quote]

Oh come on. There are bad therapists just like there are bad mechanics, bad plumbers, bad dentists, etc. I can't count how many times I've been ripped off by mechanics. People seeking therapy are mentally and psychologically vulnerable. That plus the crap shoot of whether or not they get a good or bad therapist -- that doesn't sound good.[/quote]

But do you think mechanics cause more problems than they solve?[/quote]

If a therapist had to replace your parts to fix your problems it would be easy to tell if they were correct. But a therapist says your brokenness is because your parents and go blame them and that's the solution. Case solved. So easy.[/quote]

I guess you have not been to therapy. Their job is not to FIND BLAME.

They help you move forward with YOUR Life, achieve your goals.

If you are being blocked from finding life satisfaction because of things that occurred in your childhood, they can help you PROCESS that. But the goal is to help YOU move forward[b], not to assign blame.[/b] [/quote]

That's what this topic is about, adults[b] blaming t[/b]heir parents for how they raised them and not owning their own adult problems.[/quote]

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