Reply to Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one is saying it is weird to cry or be exhausted. We have ALL been there.

Some have just been saying that when you are so fragile, it does not take much to set you off. Don't turn daggers on the world, let alone other moms.

Just because they have a few years on you does not mean they are "resentful" irrelevant" "envious." Those characterizations really smack of misogyny or projection.  [/quote]

+1. Not only that, but no one is telling you that you are “doing it wrong.” Your own insecurity is taking a lighthearted comment and twisting it. Saying “cherish these moments” is neither a judgment nor unsolicited advice. And if that’s what you are feeling when you hear that comment, maybe do some self reflection. [/quote]

NP. Have you not kept up with the fact that more people than OP have been sharing anecdotes, and in some cases, people are indeed saying things to new moms, like:
"Just you wait..."
"You think you have it hard now..."
"Little kids, little problems"
"Try having a teenager"

Etc. [/quote]

NP. I'd like a list of GOOD things that could be said instead, especially when I see a mother struggling with a crying baby or toddler. I'd truly like to be supportive because I clearly remember those days -- so hard! -- but I feel uncertain what to say.

"It gets better, hang in there!" ?
"You have a lovely baby"?
"The early days can be so hard, you have my sympathy" ?

Or would those be taken wrong in any way?[/quote]

I think all three of those are great. I would add in the offer of small help - holding the door, etc.[/quote]

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