Reply to DH Can’t Stand Having Two Kids… 2 Years Later

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, be clear, it's not that he CAN'T it's that he DOESN'T want to.

He is using passive aggressive tactics to try to get you to restore the life he liked better, where you did most child rearing AND were very available to him in the evenings. He is trying to manipulate you through your love and concern for your kids. You are not both doing anything, he is playing along but his agenda is clear. Guys like this may not stick around, you HAVE to plan for that re: your earning potential.

He really enjoyed child free life and wants a close approximation of that in his day to day. YOU need to be realistic re: who you married. You are NOT both equally concerned re: impact on the kids, come ON. Actions speak louder than words, OP and HIS are CLEAR if you would just open your eyes.

How about DH ramps up career and makes more so more can be outsourced and he can be "fun dad" as the spirit moves him? OP do you see how a "fun" and "unencumbered" woman who IS available to him and minimum custodial time is a real risk with someone like your DH? He doesn't really even enjoy socializing with other families, he is NOT a family man nor is he adjusting after 5 YEARS. He has shown you who he is, OP. He is NOT equally committed to the well being of the kids, to your dreams and happiness or supporting your career even for a short time.

You could try counseling with someone who does family therapy to educate him re: the impact he is having on the kids but I don't see him changing. And whatever you do OP you need to set yourself up for being able to support yourself and basically solo parent, there are jobs that are a way better fit in that scenario and you need to be targeting those career paths, if not immediately, then soon. Might as well ride out the marriage while it lasts but use the time wisely, OP. [/quote]
If you got hit by a truck today I guarantee your organization would figure things out.[/quote]

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