Reply to If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?

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Reply to "If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous]So I’ve never been cheated on, but my therapist suggested that I have a conversation with my husband where we talk about actions that would automatically result in divorce. (DH mentions divorce a surprising amount and it makes me feel insecure so the idea is that it’s helpful to know that he doesn’t actually mean it when he brings up divorce and hopefully he stops bringing it up at all).

He said that having an affair without remorse is a dealbreaker, and I said that would be for me too. He asked about having an affair with remorse or having a ONS. I said that from what I understand, an affair can (not automatically but can) cause a lot of trauma that requires immense emotional work to deal with. And I might not have it in me to do that work. I don’t know at this point because it hasn’t happened, so I can’t say what I would do.

Also I wouldn’t  apologize for not being able to emotionally handle an affair and process the trauma and the pain so that I could stay married. We all have our limits and it’s not my fault if somebody does something that would require me to do something I’m incapable of. [/quote]

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