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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I don't actually know anyone who "chose" to wait more than a couple of years after marrying to have kids, and most of them didn't wait more than a couple years to marry once they found the guy.  S[/b]o let's drop that BS right now about choosing our careers over kids in our child-bearing years.  Most of us had babies late because we had to, not because we chose to.  The alternative would have been to have babies as single moms (which sets off the smug married types) or marry the wrong guy just to have kids, which drives the "should I divorce my asshole hubby?" posts.  Instead we chose to make the best of the reality we're in, and we are looking at the positives of having kids late.  What the hell good does it do to sit around saying, "oh, i should have had kids at 25 so I can be a grandma by 55." ugh.

Look, having kids young is no guarantee you'll ever see your grandkids.  My mother met my father at 18 or 19 and married him at 21.  He was her first and only lover, and she had me at 25.  And she died at 41, when I was 16.  She never saw her grandkids.  I might meet my grandkids or not.  I could follow my mom's lead and die at 41, there's no way of knowing.  Or I could live to be 86, like most of the women in my family, and see my daughter have kids or not.  (she'd be 50 at that point.)  "living to see my grandkids" is kind of a weird reason to have kids young or to criticize someone for not having kids young.  (and frankly, that puts a lot of pressure on your kids to have their own kids.  that should be a decision they make independently of you.)[/quote]

Haven't read this entire thread, but a couple people have posted things like this, which is just silly.  I got married at 25 but we had our first child when I was 34--by our choice, not a fertility problem.  I didn't even think I wanted kids for a really long time.  When i changed my mind, we had kids.  Now that I have them I would like to be younger, yes, but at the time, I didn't want children.

Why in the world do you find it hard to believe that people can choose to have children later?  [/quote]

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