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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To all the PPs on this thread who are not actual adoptive parents please stop!! [/quote]

Respectfully, no. [/quote]

Thanks, PP.  I want to fist bump you, and I’m grateful to you.  I gotta drop out of this for the rest of today b/c fighting people who gaslight ME and minimize my mom’s trauma send my own blood pressure spiking.  I’ll just say this: adoption loss is not just about parents.  The adoptee perspective must ALWAYS be centered, especially adult adoptees, and too often is not.  But adoption also impacts extended families.  Now that our family is in reunion with both of my sisters, we have all reflected in how much they had lost and how much we all gain now.  Sadly, my mom died before ever knowing my 2nd sister.  The joy of being sisters now: sharing vacations and birthdays and milestones for our children, is always tempered for me by the grief that my mother’s pain was inescapable since we didn’t find her daughter until soon after she died.  I sometimes imagine her kind, loving face, and the smile that might have been in it could she have had her arms around my sisters and know, for just one day, that they were both alive and okay and in that moment, loved.

Thanks to PPs who have shared their voices from other parts of the adoption circle.  Wishing wisdom, openness, and kindness for OP in her journey to becoming a parent. [/quote]

Let it go.   You are not helping anyone.  [/quote]

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