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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we were engaged, I told stbDH that I would never ever ever be a SAHP. ever.  Life has a way of happening that messes up ones plans.  We ended up with two children that needed more intensive parenting for much longer than NT children.  In order to have a life where we both spent more time with them, one of us needed to be at home.  I have been a SAHP since.  I was definitely a more natural WOHP and it took a very long time  to acclimate to the cadence of being a SAHP.  We now have two relatively independent adult children who have finally blossomed and are contributing members of society (well one is there and one is nearly there)- something that was much harder to achieve for both.  [/quote]
You know, you don't need to justify your decision to stay home by saying your kids were special needs. Any woman's choice is valid if it's what works for her. When women continually put that qualifier on their time out of the workforce, it smacks me as so misogynistic.[/quote]

Agreed. When I was a SAHM, it took some time to stop doing this. It has to do with our culture, which has very strict ideas about what is productive (making $$$, being stressed and unhappy) and what is not productive (spending time with a child, doing light cleaning or running errands, getting enough sleep and feeling good). I loooooved being a SAHM because I loved spending time with my kid, but it was also really great for my physical and mental health and made me realize what a number the years of sitting in offices, working long hours, and dealing with constant deadlines and workplace conflict had done on me. I went back to work because I do feel better when I have an income (and I do worry about my retirement, my savings, and setting a good example for my DD that women are not relegated to domestic work). But I went back with a much better understanding of what I deserve as a person. Yes, being a SAHM was "easier" than my old job. It was also more rewarding and healthier. Those are valuable things too.

We don't have to pretend that being a SAHM is miserable drudgery in order to justify it as a valuable (if unpaid) job. Work does not have to be miserable, and also maybe shouldn't be?[/quote]

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