Reply to I finally set a boundary with in laws and they made me feel bad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] :?: [quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think your MIL was rude.  I am a DIL and a MIL.  Just something to consider.  A lot of older adults just don’t like getting out late.  Or even being up late.  I always do dinner at 4 or 5 when my parents or in-laws visit.  DH and I are still fairly young.  We are 55 and thankfully, very active and healthy.  On a normal evening, we are in bed by about 8:30.  We are up by 5:30 at the latest.  And we are both retired.  It’s not intentional.  It’s just how we are now.  When my grandkids are here, we have so much fun!  But I am exhausted by the end of the day.  Your MIL may just be really tired by 6 or 7.  I know I am.  And I never thought it would happen to me. [/quote]

Well then they can say that. Like adults. It’s called communication. OP moved the time to accommodate the no-driving-in-the-dark request. All she can go on. They’re not talking about any other concerns or problems, instead, MIL is taking a cheap shot at stress and mental health. Which is a particularly rude thing for one mom to do to another when it comes to holiday stress.[/quote]

So OP has mental health issues now? Lol

She shouldn't host since it's so stressful for her.[/quote]

DP.  Why are so hateful and malicious?[/quote]

I am pretty sure MIL is asking the same thing about OP right now. I mean, who tells their DH's parents not to come to early on Christmas eve? [/quote]

Someone who needs a little time to hem selves to prepare give everything she is doing to keep her family afloat.  The guilty-tripping going on here over OP daring to take care of herself for a few hours is manipulative and abusive.[/quote]

Agree!  DCUM loves to attack though. [/quote]

Does OP go through unnecessary trouble hosting Christmas to keep her family afloat? Order something from Giant/Safeway and spend the rest of the time watching loud TV with FIL   :mrgreen: [/quote]

OP leaves it to her "DH to clarify things and he always chickens out". There's the problem right there in a nutshell. She married this bum and he leaves her to handle his parents. She picked a real winner. The problem isn't what time should the grandparents show up on Christmas Eve, is it? Why does nobody have any advice on how to handle the loser husband and instead focusing on the in-laws who are probably doing what their son OK'd? It's his house too as far as they are concerned.[/quote]

Yes, please.  Let’s focus on that husband for a bit. [/quote]

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