Reply to What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not new, and it's not exclusive to DCUM. Who in your household keeps track of birthdays, doctors appointments, clothing sizes, early dismissals, permission slips, camp signups, holiday cards, and meal planning? Does that person also have a paid job?[/quote]

I do all of this and have a paid job. It's not hard. Why do women seem to struggle with it?

-- Single Dad.

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If this isn’t hard for you, you are either superdad or crummy at your job and at parenting. [/quote]

That’s not right or fair. Sometimes people things “extra hard” - this dad probably doesn’t. Maybe ask him for advice instead of insulting him? [/quote]

Typo! I meant “people make things”…[/quote]

I suggested he could be super dad! I didn’t insult him.

But I’ll bite. What’s your meal plan method (I’m assuming you have at least one picky eater; if not, give me suggestions for the too). How do you keep track of addresses for your Christmas cards? Do you do a professional shoot for your Christmas card photos or just take the photos yourself? How do you coordinate Christmas card clothing? How do you keep track of birthdays for extended families? How do you decide what to get them? Do you go through the school calendar at the beginning of the year and sync that to your calendar, or do you do it monthly? Do you keep materials on hand for last minute school projects or do you make a last-minute target run? How did you choose your kids’ dentist? Their pediatrician? How would you choose a therapist for them? Woukd you put them on a king waiting list for one that takes your insurance or pay out of pocket? How did you choose which extracurriculars your kid does? Do you expose them to lots or just sign them up for what they ask for? When do you go through and make sure your kids have the clothing size they need? Do you just deal with that as it comes up or do it regularly every season? What potty training method did you use, or did you let daycare take care of that? What do you do for childcare and how did you settle on that? How do you deal with behavioral issues and do you scan your kids for symptoms mental issues like ADHD? What do you look for? What is your plan for elder care when the time comes? What is your screen time policy and how did you settle on that? Do your kids get regular exercise and time outside?

If im complicating any of this, by all means, let me know. [/quote]

You are complicating things and you are the reason why your children need therapy. I am a working mom, and I don't do most of those things. I don't have any picky eaters because my priorities were to raise healthy kids, and not worry about Christmas cards. I don't keep track of anyone's addresses and don't send any cards (I am Christian and cards have nothing to do with Christmas). My kids are in high school and college now and we never had any professional shoots and we don't have a single photo with Santa. We never ever coordinated clothes (this sounds really crazy). I don't track birthdays for extended families, only my own family (my husband, my kids, my parents, and my sibling). I never tracked the school calendar and kids always were responsible for that. They are now pretty independent. We don't keep materials on hand (I hate clutter and I am very minimalistic) and kids learn to be creative when they need to make something last minute. Dentist and pediatrician - my husband chose them from the insurance provider's list and is close to our house. We never used therapists for children. We never chose extracurricular for kids, they were allowed to do what they like. Two kids were accepted into several Ivies. I potty trained them before they reach 1 y.o. and they didn't start daycare until the age of 3.  Childcare varied over the years. We have no family around so we had to be very flexible and creative. Kids never had behavior issues. I think kids reflect your mental state, and if you are so anxious about all the things you listed, it is going to affect your kid's mental state a lot. No screen time policy as we never had cable TV or video games. Kids always were active in sport, several varsity teams.

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