Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Men: sigh. I’m in an unfixable sexless marriage.

Women: here’s what we want!

Men: nah. Sigh. Poor me. I’m in an unfixable situation[/quote]

Why isn't it:

Men:  I would like to fix our sexless marriage.

Women:  Here is what I am willing to do to make that happen instead of: Here is what I want.

She should share what she wants and be ready to work on getting her husband what he wants as well.  Anyone who thinks the power dynamic is solely "Give me what I want and you may get what you want" is headed for divorce.[/quote]

Sure, but what I think a lot of people here are trying to illustrate is as follows:

Man: I would like to fix our sexless marriage.

Woman: I agree! One of the big barriers I have to intimacy is that I find it difficult to get turned on when I am tired or stressed.

PP:  YOU ARE ANXIOUS AND LAZY

PP:  I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING I CONSIDER EXTRA JUST SO YOU CAN ENJOY SEX!

Those are such toxic messages to a marriage year on year.  Honestly it would make me view my husband so differently if he considered my physical needs “laziness”.  If your hypothetical man says he wants to fix the marriage, does he really want to fix it? Or just have his wife do what he wants?[/quote]

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