Reply to Any way to disinvite a cousin from an annual beach reunion

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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't expect cousin to watch my kids unless she had been specifically asked to do so, as in "I'm taking all the kids to the beach including yours, OP." If it was made plain that responsibility for a whole group dinner was being assigned, and she knew and did not do her part, call her on it IN THE MOMENT, don't pick up her slack.

OP:"Cousin, what time should my kids be at the table for dinner tonight? You said you were grilling."

Cousin: "I'm not sure"

OP: "I'd like you to commit to 6 pm as the kids will be hungry by then, okay?"

At 6 pm, if cousin is hiding out / evading in bedroom, you call her.If she does not come out, you call her on it when she does.

OP: "It looks taking part in the meal sharing is not working out for you guys. Next year, I think it would be easier for you all to vacation on your own and we can all meet up for the occasional meal out. I get that it's a lot of work taking care of a group this size, so no hard feelings." If she jumps in and pulls her weight, great. If she doesn't you have made your expectations plain.

Stop silently stewing. Before the next trip, tell her that you feel it has to be an equitably shouldered group effort, give examples of her dropping the ball, and say this year it's commit or split off into separate vacations.[/quote]

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