Reply to Wife wants to be "alone" so this means we divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, she said something to me last night that's tough to swallow or interpret. Basically, she tired of being my wife. Not personally, although it's hard to not take it personally. More about being in my shadow. I am in a somewhat high profile field that gets some media attention, the usual accolades if a project goes well, etc. We met in grad school so she feels its unfair and knows it not fair and she should feel happy and she is proud, etc. but it's swallowed her identity.

Also, she's tired of being in "polite society" and making small talk with my clients, etc. Holding her tongue when we entertain people whose political views she finds repugnant.

Anyway, thanks for all the feedback.[/quote]

Well, that’s it OP. She wants to be a person, her own person. Not a doll you trot out at events taking care of everyone else behind the scenes and not doing anything for herself. I think your claim to have been succeeding for your family is pretty disingenuous at best. Men who think they don’t have to sacrifice anything career wise because the career is “for the family” are trapped in the 1950s. Running a family is like having a small company. If you don’t put in the time and you’re not even around to see what is being done, it’s really hard to claim an equal role in contributing. It’s just that simple. Especially when you have young kids — their well-being on a day to day basis is not made of daddy’s star role, it’s a million little things that someone else is madly running around to piece together. Your kids don’t need a wealthy lifestyle, they need care and love and someone getting to know what is best for them in everything from potty training to where they spend their days in summer.

I think if you want your wife back you’re going to have to park your big ego somewhere else, downshift on the career for a while, and take over your wife’s role with no complaining. Get back to us after a year and tell us how sacrificing your identity out in the world and doing everything to serve other people’s day to day flourishing goes. [/quote]

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