Reply to Messed up marrying the wrong guy, where to go from here

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Reply to "Messed up marrying the wrong guy, where to go from here - give it to me straight please "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Of course this is DCUM so everyone wants to make this about money, but it’s not about money. It’s about respect and how I don’t have any left for DH.

I am also not under the delusion that I’ll easily find a new husband, although yes that would be what I want. I married ty he wrong person, and I may have/probably did lose out on the chance to have my most dearly held dream of a happy marriage to a man I admire and respect.

So now I have the unenviable choice of learning to accept being married to a man I don’t respect or get divorced at 37 with a toddler and face that fate.

It’s a tough spot. Really not sure which path to take. [/quote]

Get. Your. Depression. Treated. This black and white thinking and “dearly held dream” shit is depression talking.[/quote]

Where did OP mention depression? A pill doesn’t create love. Or respect.[/quote]

She doesn’t have to mention it. She is manifesting it. [/quote]

No, she is not. She is recognizing she will never be happy in this marriage. She needs to leave rather than divorce later.[/quote]

She’s not going to be happy in any marriage until she gets her act together. She is engaged in cognitive distortions that will follow her everywhere. Divorce won’t make them go away.[/quote]

I think so.  When she divorces, the envy and anger won't change.  She feels she got jipped,  married wrong brother, missed her meal ticket.  The guy is great dad who must be very smart in academia.  I don't think people quibble over fact Einstein didn't earn 400k selling widgets.  Albeit his marriage was bad, but otherwise good comparison.[/quote]

Not true. I am divorced. For different reasons. But I felt the way she did...it was never getting better. I was deeply unhappy. I stayed like this for 10 years. When I got divorced, my cloud lifted and I was happy again. A bad relationship can make someone very depressed. Her child is young. It would be better to leave now. You have no idea how someone is going to feel post-divorce. I do not think she would feel the way you think she would.[/quote]

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